Reviewer: CaptainSarine Signed
27 May 2014
Chapter 1: Another Man's Treasure.
I have only a very summary knowledge of this Mirror Scotty, but the story itself stands nicely on its own. You did a good job setting up the character - 16, strong, born and lives in space - in a very short snippet, giving us the readers everything we need to know as we follow Scotty through this junkyard. You did a good job of capturing his voice - it is easy to imagine a young, though slightly different, James Doohan in the role, as he climbs into the junkyard and begins to look through all of the things that have been left behind.
I especially enjoyed the theme that ran through the piece about the difference between space and ground - how Scotty struggles to adjust to the gravity, something that is omnipresent until right at the end when he kind of pushes all of that aside in his haste to get out of the junkyard. I also liked how you created a distinct sense of wrongness about this world - it is easy to imagine that this is not in the Trekverse we know but rather in the Mirrorverse. There is an omnipresent otherness that comes across nicely through very small, subtle cues: the junkyard itself, the signs announcing brute force and dogs, Scotty's fear as he runs. All of them add up to a world that is removed from the one the 'real' Scotty probably grew up in.
You did a good job of creating the fulcrum that leads to the story's end as Scotty brings the junk crashing down around him. The race to get out was extremely well written, creating a real sense of tension and fear, especially as from the note we knew where it was heading.
I was a little let down at the relative mundane way he gets the scar - though that may have been your intention - and there were a couple of spelling mistakes or nits throughout. Overall, though, this was a well written, nicely paced short piece that shows a good grasp of this character. Well done!