Star Trek Hunter
Episode 21: The Enemy of My Enemy
Scene 11: Prometheosaurus Rex
A creature from another era – from another planet – from another galaxy – inexplicably stalked its prey on this most boring of worlds. A nightmare monster – so much the king of beasts that the word king was in its very name. Twice.
Enormous, three-clawed feet did not so much walk the ground as grip it against the fourth back-claw. The huge tail, although primarily used for balance, was a battering ram of destruction. But nothing conveyed terror more than its massive head – bright pitiless eyes made even more distinct by dark violet downy feathering that surrounded them. Massive jaws filled with teeth the size of a grown man’s arm. A sunburst of roughened, ruddy skin around the beast’s mouth – yellow, orange, red, violet – made it appear even larger and more violent.
Steaming drool dripped from its lips. Each snort sent out a spray of steaming mucous.
Despite its evident weight, it stalked its prey quietly, carefully. The man that it was stalking stood staring ardently in the wrong direction, oblivious to the approach of this most terrible of beasts behind him.
In triumph, the beast raised itself, filled its lungs with the cold, thin air, opened its cavernous mouth and uttered an ear shattering squack.
It was essentially a gigantic chicken.
Wesley Crusher turned around, looked up at the fearsome beast and burst into uncontrollable laughter.
The king of kings gazed disapprovingly down at the old, bearded man who was nearly doubled over with mirth, laughing until he could only manage to splutter to a stop.
“That is gorgeous! Such attention to detail!” Crusher enthused, once he was finally able to regain control over himself. “It’s been a hundred years or more since I laughed so hard! Ah, Doctor, you do not disappoint.”
The disappointed looking dinosaur shrank to man-size as it transformed smoothly into a disappointed looking holographic doctor. “What gave me away?”
“Aside from you being right here, right now?” asked Old Man Crusher. “Your emitter. You don’t often see a Prometheosaur with a piece of technology like that on its shoulder.”
“Tyrannosaurus Rex,” the Doctor corrected, somewhat petulantly.
“Oh, the detail was astounding, I have to give you that,” Crusher said. “I’ve gone back to look for myself. Even the mighty mating call.”
“That was a mating call???” the Doctor furrowed his brow like a county road desperately in need of maintenance.
“That was the mating call.” Crusher confirmed.
There was an awkward silence. Then the Doctor noticed something was missing. He pointed.
“Where is your staff?”
“On vacation,” Crusher answered.
“What??” The Doctor turned his head and squinted, trying to work out what relationship, if any, Old Man Crusher’s answer had to his question. He cupped his hand as if holding a walking stick. Moved his hand up and down a few times. “No, your staff, where is it?”
“On vacation,” Crusher responded again.
“No, no, no, I mean…” The Doctor moved his hand up and down faster.
“There’s no need to be indelicate, Doctor,” said Crusher. “I may be an old man, but the plumbing still works just fine.”
“What??? What are you??” The Doctor shook his head in frustration. “No! The thing you lean on!!”
“My staff?” asked Old Man Crusher.
“Don’t tell me… They’re on vacation,” the Doctor said, then sighed heavily.
“Well, you can’t expect them to hang around all the time without a break, can you?” Crusher observed. “Interesting lot they are. They started out as a rather chatty miniature deciduous forest. I’ve taken them all over the universe, but every once in a while they just want to hang out at a beach somewhere. I’ll introduce you properly when they get back. In the meantime, it’s time for us to go meet the Captain. For reasons having strictly to do with chain of command, he’s kind of stuck in his original timeline…”