Date: 05/10/2010 01:04 pm Title: Act Five
Yeah right, she just wants to be friends. Those are exactly the signs she's transmitting here. Kincaid better be on his guard. I mean, more on his guard.
But great to see the crew of Farragut relax and having a good time. Unaware that more sinister things are about to take place. Or so I suspect.
Date: 03/08/2010 01:25 pm Title: Act Three
A good spy knows how to make friends and be inconspicuous. And this one is very good. And therefore very dangerous.
These conversation pieces you put together are - as always- really enjoyable to read and my favorite part of FSA. It not only helps to make your characters more vivid but it also imbues them with very lifelike qualities.
Date: 03/08/2010 12:12 pm Title: Act Three
Ok so the fun and games are on their way at the casino night. Wilson likes to rub Ariel about Leone and that can't do her any favours, especially after Kincaid. Some interesting dynamics here and some celebrity fans to boot. And with the casino night approaching we might see more to do with this eight the hard way bit.
Date: 01/05/2010 02:03 pm Title: Act Two
A starstruck crew, a group of very naughty celebrity passengers and a spy with unknown intentions.
This promises to be a fun and not-so-routine assignment for Leone and company.
I thought it was a bit easy for our spy to fool the computer. I'm sure she's got plenty of skill and experience but do you need nothing more than a voice recording to make it believe your somebody else? Somebody needs to review those security protocols.
Author's Response:
I'll address the security concerns, first. I'm citing DS9's "Tribunal" as my source for the security hole. When the surgically-altered Boone used Chief O'Brian's recorded voice to override the security lockout on the station's torpedo stores. Of course, that whole episode kind of had its problems. How the hell to do you store 30 photon torpedos on a runabout, anyway? :)
There will be more fun with Greg and Abby in the coming act three.
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 01/01/2010 07:57 am Title: Act Two
Dorthy and Becky make quite the pair, and one shudders to think of what they might be like if Ariel ever joined them for a night on the town. The crew seems to be handling the mission quite well, given the backhanded assignment to an entertainment tour rather than patrolling the DMZ with the rest of the task force.
Terrific character interactions here, and a nice introduction to the people who will doubtless make life aboard the Farragut... interesing in the coming weeks.
Oh, and our mysterious faux-lieutenant has made it onboard without a moment to spare. I'll be interested to see where she figures into this increasingly complex dynamic you're establishing.
Author's Response:
Dorothy and Becky are based in some part upon a couple of characters from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. You might be able to tell which ones. :)
I have plans for our faux-lieutenant. :)
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/31/2009 02:16 am Title: Teaser
I'll grant Maxwell that Leone has a long and storied Starfleet pedigree, but that hardly seems sufficient to have earned the vicious verbal backhand he delivered to her upon their meeting. Yes, perhaps she doesn't have the most sterling reputation, but I would have thought someone of Maxwell's reputation for evenhandedness would have taken the opportunity to mentor someone like Leone rather than castigate her.
All things considered, she's handling it like a champ, though Ariel is justifiably incensed on her behalf.
Aspinall's painful recollections of his departed friend were poignant. He's certainly got some issues to sort through, and I hope he gets a handle on his grief before it becomes an impediment to his doing his job.
Terrific stuff all the way around!
Author's Response:
Well, see, you (and the other UT authors) had the benefit of reading my Alpha Draft of this scene. :) And perhaps it might be premature to jump on Maxwell's head before seeing the entire episode and realizing his intent in where it would lead. Obviously, given that this is a major PR mission, there has to be a method to his decision.
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/30/2009 05:26 pm Title: Teaser
I have been seeing this title on the RECENT page and finally dove in...I love the use of Maxwell here, I think he is a great contrast to the other TNG era captains...I like Leone and I like how you have a mix of tone in your structure...keep it up!!!!
rob
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/29/2009 11:02 am Title: Act Two
Oh intriguing. Why oh why is Leone playing this game? Hmm. Adds a layer of mystery to this story. So far you yet again prove how you build a very real world of life aboard a military vessel. From the vast number of lower deck characters, job descriptions, duties and interactions. It helps make this a fully fleshed out story and world.
And of course, hee hee galore with everyone shocked Ariel's pointing out to the crew to comport themselves in the proper manner. Ha!
Author's Response:
I love lower deck stories. Showing what happens to the unseen crew and providing a deeper picture of life aboard a starship, to me, holds a great fascination. I think this is why I loved watching that mini-series "Carrier" on PBS. They detailed the lives of a handful of sailors from around the ship, following them from boarding to mission to shore leave to mission to end of tour. Incredible.
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/16/2009 01:25 pm Title: Act One
You construct scenes and chapters very well. Like in the teaser the open and friendly reception Leone receives is in direct contrast to the rather frosty meeting with Maxwell. Here we open with the senior staff bitching and then switch to the personal grief of Greg. The contrast makes for the emotion and thrust in each scene stand out all the more. I should also add that you made Maxwell out to be a bit of a bastard but one of those begrudging ones a person can sorta kinda respect and admire. Mind Leone and Ariel do not share that respect at all. Mind my respect for these two is impacted somewhat by how dismissive they are of Jesse's warning and suggestion. It isn't merely Leone's own rep as a CO that's on the line - but the reps and career advancements of all on the Farragut. But Leone is unwilling to concede that point or even listen to Jesse and in this is encouraged by Ariel. Her own abandon is well known but Leone should no better than to be steered by her recklessness. But it builds things up nicely and adds some more tension to the story. By the by, what does the title refer to?
Author's Response:
With regard to Leone's recklessness, I think that's one of her defining character points. Ariel's a walking example of co-dependency, but the motivation of that co-dependency has a lot to do with her emotional state where Leone is concerned. Leone's conviction is that she believes Maxwell is making judgements based on gossip and rumor, rather than her performance. And perhaps that's a pretty big leap in Leone's thinking, but we haven't quite gotten to the end of this episode, so, it remains to be seen of what Maxwell's true motivations are in assigning Leone this mission and for that matter, whether the mission is what it is...
The story's title has to do with the game Craps. :) If you're a gambler, it'll be obvious...
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/16/2009 01:11 pm Title: Teaser
Great opener. Number one it opens up a lot of questions as to what Leone got up to - menaing I better go and read and catch up. Number two, Leone always was playing with fire having a perceived priviliged background. Politics and family dynasties can often be the enemy to someone trying to prove their own worth. Unfortunately, from Maxwell's point of view Leone comes to the table with far too many ties and possible footups that may mean she is actually an incompetent hack. So to one degree, one can see where he is coming from - understanding the need to protect the borders and to build a cohesive taskforce. However, his approach and tact is very direct and very cutting to Leone. He knows how to hit her buttons in all the wrong places and how to put her in her place and keep her there by threatening finding out if she uses her ties to carry favour. This means Leone is in a tough position. She'll have to take on a menial task in order to prove herself and yet that smae task will offer little in the way of a challenge or an opportunity to truly prove herself and her crew's ability. Good stuff.
Author's Response:
That was the result of watching "The Wounded" many many times. I have to hand it to Bob Gunton for being such a tremendous character actor and bringing his A-game to TNG as a Guest Star. His portrayal of Maxwell in those short scenes in the latter half of the episode provided me with a decent sense of his depth, and since I've been watching him since Demolition Man (he was the Chief of the SAPD), I've come to know his range pretty well.
That being said, and in my response to CeJay's review, I felt that Maxwell would respond to a new captain like Leone in this fashion. Maxwell has a true passion for what he does for a living; he's been doing it for a long time. And I disagree with you on one point: He hit all the right buttons, not the wrong ones. He could have refused her assignment to his task force easily, but he didn't. And that's all I'll say about that. :)
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/16/2009 12:10 pm Title: Act One
I wouldn't have used Ariel's exact words, but yeah, I agree with her sentiment about Maxwell.
I have to admit I don't remember what happened to Tommy and I gotta go back and find out but in any case, that was a nice, touching scene. I wonder if Greg's refusal to properly deal with his grief will make things worse.
Author's Response:
It's important to go back and find out what happened to Tommy, because the end of the fifth episode deals with that.
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg
Date: 12/16/2009 11:59 am Title: Teaser
Oh snap, Maxwell really took Leone down a few notches, didn't he? What a grouchy old bastard. I really liked this scene though, especially the juxtaposition of the overly warm welcome Leone received from Hayes with the exact opposite reaction from Maxwell. That was a nice touch.
Great opening.
Author's Response:
I think given her recent and short tenure as Captain so far has been nothing less than alarming considering that she was pulled into the furthest reach of the Beta Quadrant and then participated in a war in direct contravention of everything that she has sworn to uphold. Well, maybe not everything.
Also, I get this sense that Maxwell is a sailor's sailor. Came up through the ranks by his ability, not his political connections, which is why he resents Leone's smart rise to Captain and essentially given command of a ship like his. I would think that to be an injury to his pride.
Hayes will show up later in the series. :)
Thanks for reading!
-- MDg