Date: 08 Sep 2013 12:19 Title: It Had Been a Day
Now that made me smile, a nice ABC book of Star Trek aliens and the simple joy it brought Cassie and Will Riker. I like how you gave Cassie some problems with the harder words even knowing Cassie eventually rebellion doesn’t take away this sweet moment with her father at the end of a long day.
I like how you’ve added the sleeping habits for Beth and Bill as well as Will checks upon his children.
Very nice little paragraph of Deanna checking in on them and the hint of future haunting of that scene is a simple but fitting touch.
Date: 12 Jul 2011 17:01 Title: It Had Been a Day
I love the ad for the Federation at the end of the book! It's early indoctrination! Truly, a sweet story. The love is apparent, not just amidst the characters, but by you, for the characters as well.
Author's Response: *GRIN* Thank you jespah! I have a dream that this children's book could be edited (the J'Naii line still irks me - I need to find a better fit) and then I plan on tackling David Reddick to illustrate it for me. I would die happy I think. Not exactly sure how it happened - but Riker became that Trek character that I truly identify with. I always thought I'd write Picard, come to find out - Will (and subsequently Deanna) hijacked my brain.
Date: 06 Dec 2010 08:33 Title: It Had Been a Day
Okay , that was SUper Sweet ,I need to get checked for Diabetes. I loved it. Dang you and your ability to tug at heart strings, and bring up memories. Kidding, Amazing writing my dear absolutely amazing.
Author's Response: Thanks Marvin. I still really like my children's book set inside this scene... :)
Date: 03 Dec 2009 12:59 Title: It Had Been a Day
First, very impressed with your kids book-have you thought of publishing it with illustrations? I'd buy it for my kid. Second, beautiful imagery. As a parent your description of Beth hit home. I have the male version in my house. Third, what Deanna saw. Only a parent/spouse would understand just how magical a little moment, a sight like that, can be. Particularly because children want their independence so early, so fiercely, that by 4 a chance to cuddle is rare. Or at least becoming rarer. You got it dead on.
Date: 21 Nov 2009 11:51 Title: It Had Been a Day
Wonderfull! Precious moment captured masterfully. Your written imagery paints these scenes so clearly I feel as if I am watching them unfold.
The loving enviroment of the Riker household portrayed so strongly it can be felt through your words.
Loved this piece!
Author's Response: thank you Strike10, it was wonderful for you to leave feedback! It's so appreciated. The Riker family somehow (and rather inexplicably) became my characters of choice about 2 years ago...and they just stuck.)
Date: 20 Nov 2009 19:32 Title: It Had Been a Day
Such a cute scene between Riker and Cassidy! In retrospect, of course, I can definitely see why that moment would've haunted Deanna--after all, this is the bond that she never has with Cassidy.
I'm never sure how I feel about Deanna's role in it all...on one hand, I realize that as a member of a telepathic species (partly), that her psychology may be different from that of a human. Yet I also think she may have done two of her children a disservice by treating them as Betazoids and not allowing them to be human when that is the majority of their genome anyway. Seems a little one-droppish sometimes, as though because Beth and Cassidy don't act Betazoid enough, or conform to Betazoid standards, then there's something wrong.
(As you know, I DO have a character with the same makeup, and she would actually get mad at me if I referred to her as quarter-Betazoid as though that were all that was there...she would say, "HEY! I have more than earned the right to be called human!")
On the children's story part--that was a VERY creative rhyme, and one you must've spent a lot of time researching on Memory Alpha! Did you have that in mind before this challenge, or come up with it on the fly? :-)
I loved the line about the Cardassians! With the Ferengi--how are they viewed in your reality? Especially since you would have time to explore what might've changed with Rom in charge...I'm kinda curious if maybe "profiteer" might not be as much of a dirty word as it was in TNG, but a different (and legitimate) lifestyle. Oh--and another curious question. You mention the Pakleds...what do you think is the deal with their actual intelligence versus their language abilities? (I already have my own theory, so I won't be stealing yours! ;-) )
One question about it, though. Was this rhyme actually authored by Starfleet, maybe? The end line starts to sound a bit like propaganda, so I wonder about that. I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea of the government indoctrinating children, however benevolent it may seem on the surface (I tend towards suspicion of big governments), so I was wondering if a civilian did this, or Starfleet.
Author's Response: I think that Deanna (and Will) are always haunted by their memories about Cass, wondering where they might have gone wrong - always second guessing their parenting skills, their communication with her, etc. I want the reader to think, as it appears, they have done NOTHING wrong. Deanna would be haunted by this memory but not for any reason with being Betazoid, but for knowing that they loved her and yet she still threw it all way...Will & Deanna would always question that. I hope no one really thinks that I write Deanna to treat her children as Betazoid...you have to remember - Beth rejects her own Betazoid heritage for a very, very long time. She never pushed it on to any of her children. The issues she had with Cassidy were more of Cassidy's making than Deanna's...Deanna's reactions to Cass were nothing more than purely natural and Cass could never understand that - much to her detriment. I came up with the children's tale on a whim (I wrote it first then wrote a scene around it), and knew the majority of the species I wanted to use, but yes - Memory Alpha for the win! Rom and Leeta have indeed changed Feringar for the better in the Federation's eyes, but they are NOT a Federation member. By the time these children are grown, there is still a very large contingent of Ferengi who prefer the "old" ways and they tend to be the black marketeers of the Alpha and Beta Quads. Pakleds...I wrote the line to make it seem as though they're more than they appear or sound. But I haven't thought too much about them and haven't used one in any scene I've written...yet. But maybe I will now. ;) I wrote the poem from the perspective of a "patriotic" author - someone who was teaching a child about the pros of the UFP - and therefore would have pushed its exploratory arm. Nothing different from a child of today being told how honorable service to one's country is. Propaganda? Sure. Isn't it all? :) Thanks for the comments!!
Date: 20 Nov 2009 11:23 Title: It Had Been a Day
Oh ... for a strange reason I could well up at this piece. In part I think its due to feel of familial love - especially the parental care offered by Riker. It is touching and heart-warming seeing this aspect of his character explored, and whilst I haven't read the Titan books, I can only imagine they have a long way to go in creating such a warm and beautiful picture of the Riker family. The ABC book is simple genius from the title to the clever rhymes and synopsis of the different species. And very much like the ABC materials about. But I think the killer line is the last and the ominious warning of what the future holds and the pain that will do a bit to tear the clan apart. It sent a stab into my heart just to think of it. I can't believe your characters, and I have to admit that I fully hand all ownership of Deanna and Riker over to you after really getting into Heritage, are having such an affect on me. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. A little joy to read and bittersweet in the end.