Date: 25 May 2015 10:52 Title: Chapter 1
I love that you can read so much into the characters with so few words - Spock's nervousness, Scotty's love of machinery, the way these characters work together. It definitely has a different flavour from Kirk's Enterprise. It really is a shame we didn't get to see more Pike episodes.
Date: 18 May 2015 19:49 Title: Chapter 2
LOL, that last line is a doozy. Well, as they say, you gotta be in it to win it. And it looks like Number One is going to be in it all the way. This sounds like it's going to be one hell of a fun tale. And no, I'm not just saying that because I want to see #1 in a slave girl outfit.
Date: 18 May 2015 16:04 Title: Chapter 2
Why do I feel that McGregor has a fan boy poster of Pike upon his wall? Next to that poster is the one of Number One (for the same hero worshipping and OTHER reasons).
I love it. Love the fact that they put themselves into the fray like this. Very TOS like. Very Pike/Number One like. And a wonderful vibe from this that paints the scenery like one of those TOS and TNG matte landscape paintings. Wonderfully done and compacted into such few words. That's a real marvel and talent.
And, on top of all that, we know that Pike and Number One have a plan and the business of what they are about - but the what, the how, the when and all of that begs to be answered. Terrific.
Date: 18 May 2015 12:30 Title: Chapter 2
Yeah, there's no way this could go wrong... So are they disguised as Orions? Either way, you did a fantastic job describing the scene, a lot of really great little touches adding up to a whole while continuing the story forward. I love me some Pike so this really worked for me. Look forward to seeing how badly this is going to turn out... :)
Date: 18 May 2015 04:21 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, my God. It's a good thing Number One is the consummate professional and very loyal to and trusting of her captain, or methinks Chris would have just written his own ass-kicking warrant. As it is, I foresee quite the telling off down the line ... and I'm intrgued to see what his plan is.
I have to say, my stomach turned at the thought of "the scent of over fifty different species" packed into a tent. Nice descriptive work. I can't believe how much you fit into 500 words here. Good job.
Date: 18 May 2015 04:17 Title: Chapter 2
Ah, fun times: going undercover as slave traders, getting to go do a mission that'll help end slave trading for good, Pike and Number One are both in their element (though, I thik Pike is going to have more fun than here at this point, but we'll see). They have a plan and a method.
Now, who's going to be unlucky enough to "buy" her?
Date: 17 May 2015 22:01 Title: Chapter 1
Spock said, voice impassive for the most part, minus a wee bit of underlying tension that gave away how close the timing was.
I love how the scotty voice inflects and infects the writing voice. But I also love that the piece has a clear TOS vibe but pre-TOS Pike TOS vibe. There's everything action man about Pike that there was/is about Kirk. Maybe a different kind of action man. I love too how it is a whole ship effort and how Pike does not question anybody trusting them to their job and they harbour no doubts (spoken) about sending PIke on this mission. And all the clearly worked out details, the number crunching and finesse of calculating the margins to carry the audacious plan off. Fun. Great. And begs for follow up.
But then I would say that. I want a full blown Pike 5 year mission worth fo stories from you. Great to see your lot of Pike, No. 1, Scotty and Spock. Hoping for more Number 1 next time round of course and seeing them kick Syndicate ass.
Date: 17 May 2015 08:28 Title: Chapter 1
Ah yes, of course, the classic beam-and-run. I'm thinking this was a much more tricky operation back in the 22nd century, no wonder Scotty needed to handle the details here. Even though, as everyone knows, he would grow quite fond operating the transporter in later years.
Not having a good feeling about this mission though. Maybe it's because they taking someone along I don't know. Hey, he isn't wearing red though (as far as I can tell) so maybe my fears are unfounded,
Date: 17 May 2015 06:15 Title: Chapter 1
Ooooh, here's hoping this is going to be a serial kind of entry, because I can't wait to see what happens next.
I really like the respect Scotty (and you) gave to transporter operators in this entry. Given what we know about the dangers involved and the often weird problems they can throw at a crew, it does seem as if it takes a well trained and quick thinking mind to manage the tech ... but transporter operation is so often presented as a menial task, especially in later iterations of Trek. I'm guilty of it in my own writing, as well. So good job giving them the credit they deserve!
Pike is always win when you write him, and I can't wait to see what we're about to get up to with the Orions ... that is, if this is a serial. Oh, I do hope it's a serial. (No pressure ... ;-) )
Date: 17 May 2015 04:05 Title: Chapter 1
An away mission with Pike and Number One vs. the Syndicate? Yeah, that's how to get this party started. That old-school interplay between Pike and Scotty was familiar and lovable, the scene painted with deft touch. This is only the beginning of the adventure, but it's a very promising start.
Author's Response: I hope I can carry it off! ^_^ Definitely aiming for adventure this time around. Thank you!