Date: 03 Mar 2015 13:31 Title: Chapter 1
Very well written, you really captured why teenagers do things they know are wrong, how they justify these actions in their own heads, and how they react when caught red-handed.
I was a little taken aback by the idea that Bethany thought Spock would beat her, though. In canon, with the exception of what Parmen put him through he was slow to anger and always strove to find the solution that would lead to the the least amount of physical violence. Not being familiar with your personal canon, I'm curious to know what he did to make Bethany think he would react that way, or if her over-active imagination is what led to that conclusion on her part.
Thanks for the thoughtful review! My series includes a story "The Long Road Home" in which Spock suffers a deep personal tragedy that makes him grow very cold and distant for a time. The young empathic Bethany picked up on this, so he frightened her badly. Now, as a preteen, she has also been influenced by the propaganda of an anti-alien organization (CUE or Clean Up Earth) which I've incorporated into the series. Fortunately Bethany learns that she has nothing to fear from her grandfather and they become quite close, as shown in the later story, "Robby Clay and the Borg".
Date: 11 Feb 2015 19:20 Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed the insight into Bethany's character. You executed a good narrative style to tell this story, though at first I felt like all the scene-jumping was a bit jarring, it worked out in terms of how you presented the experience. Well-written and great pacing.
Thanks so much! I did hop around a bit in order to get the story told. I'm glad that you came to think it was well-paced.
Date: 11 Feb 2015 15:45 Title: Chapter 1
Very well written. As always you pack so much in a short story. Bethany learns so much about her grandfather through the diary but when she comes to him face to face and he allows her to see his inner being. She is blessed.
Thanks! Yes, one good thing comes out of this diary debacle. Bethany loses her fear of Spock and comes to love him.