Date: 25 Jun 2009 18:19 Title: The Departure
Hmm...I would say that I found the way you depicted Geordi and Data to be quite accurate. I could definitely imagine Data implementing the kind of "sleep subroutine" you described to those sorts of results, as well as Geordi's reactions!
I think where I had trouble, though, was with Katina. I actually don't have a problem with a story that shows a young person bearing way more responsibility than one would expect--it's just that I think I would have expected the effects of that responsibility to show on her personality a lot more than they do. No matter how much her parents and family might have tried to shield her, that's going to affect her, and even if she copes well, age her personality quite a bit forward from the peppy young girl she comes off as. To me, that's just hard to buy.
This may sound like a weird suggestion...but since finding children who have fought in wars and resistance movements would be a VERY tall order in the part of the world you and I live in (at least, I assume you're American?), you might actually be able to get some insight into what I'm talking about by observing a teenage mother. Probably one who has family around that are willing to help--but even then, you're going to see a LOT of difference between her and others her age.
Author's Response: Well, my theory behind the lack of angst or sadness behind the character is that in her world, it's generally EXPECTED for all children to join the military at some point, and many actually look forward to it. Her father wasn't keen on the idea (her mother would've encouraged it though) but now nobody has a choice in the matter. The next chapter was going to focus a little more on the stress this new responsibility would bring... but overall I don't want Katina to wind up like Ender from Ender's Game: isolated and depressed due to the burden of command. Though I must say having finally finished reading that book I've gotten some ideas... ;) Thank you for reviewing though! FINALLY some one gives me some feedback! :D