Date: 25 Jan 2015 08:39 Title: Hidden Truths - part one
I read both parts this evening, and I enjoyed it overall. I really liked the look into Doctor McCoy's early days through the eyes of an original character. Though I had never really read of the Dee character before, I felt that the exposition that was provided in the prose did an excellent job of familiarizing me with the dynamics of that character so that it did not interrupt the pacing of the narrative. The presentation flowed nicely and moved quickly for me as a reader. I also really liked some of the details provided within the context of the story; an example of this regarded the differences between line officers and staff corps officers (which a doctor would be the latter), and whether they can command or not. It gave it a proper real-world feel to me which I appreciate in storytelling. It elevated and cemented a lot of the background credibility of the story for me.
One aspect that did rub me the wrong way was McCoy's demeanor during their exchanges as doctor and patient. The flirting seemed kind of inappropriate given their status and I'm not entirely sure that since Dee was a doctor herself, she would have been so accepting of it with a casual mention of his "charm." She came off as a consummate professional in her portrayal up until that moment. It seemed really out of place for McCoy as well, given that he didn't come on to women when they were in his sickbay on Enterprise, but I assumed this was probably a much younger, less experienced McCoy (though a young doctor would be very conscious of his outward appearance in a position like that).
Regardless, I did enjoy the story and hope you two decide to collaborate again! :)
Thanks for reading and reviewing, Mike. Glad the military touches rang true.
In terms of the flirting, to my mind it was Dee who started it. She's very savvy, and realized early on that she wouldn't be able to use her rank or status as a doctor to manipulate McCoy to get her way. She made a habit of riding roughshod over the nurses and other junior staff while she was in the hospital, but even Komack called McCoy 'unconventional' from a military standpoint, but also mentioned that he was a very good doctor.
In terms of McCoy, I think she just caught him at a very vulnerable point in his life - his marriage had failed and his ex moved off-world with their daughter nine months ago. It's canon that McCoy tends to fall very hard and fast, particularly when he is emotionally vulnerable - think Tonia Barrows or Natiri. I also believe there was an aspect of vulnerability on Dee's part. Being blind and separated from her ship and crew, McCoy became her surrogate anchor for those few weeks. That's why at the end, she was able to dismiss what for her wound up being just infatuation much more easily than McCoy. In one of Gatekeeper's later stories, he does confess that at one time he was in love with her, so we were trying to portray how those feelings came to be for him.
I think it also stemmed from a mutual respect and sharing a profession - Dee even says Jocelyn should have been more accepting and understanding of McCoy's need to see to the well-being of his patients. To his mind, here was someone who could empathize, and understand.
As for future collaborations, we have tossed around the idea of a sequel to my story 'Echoes' but we'll see. ;-)
Date: 24 Jun 2014 00:51 Title: Hidden Truths - part two
Poor old Mac, but it would never of work, his destiny is on another path.
A great piece and well worked out, a nice slice of PRE-TOS McCoy and the interaction with Dee feel nicely weighted and realistic. A fine work by you both.
Date: 23 Jun 2014 05:38 Title: Hidden Truths - part two
Aw. Well, the baddies turned out to be who I thought, and it was a good, neat, canon-respectful solution re their identity, not only vis a vis TOS but also ENT.
It also gives a little depth and backstory to McCoy's behavior with Spock, that there is something that, itchingly, is a bit of unfinished business. Well done!
Date: 23 Jun 2014 05:24 Title: Hidden Truths - part one
Ah, she hits a nerve here and there, but they get along well. I have a what I think is a good idea of who attacked them, but won't give it away as a spoiler. Great shoutouts to canon, M'Benga in particular is always a great name to see.