Date: 01 Sep 2013 10:59 Title: Chapter 1
It's excellent in capturing the voices. Poor JQ. I am somewhere between wanting to slap him hard for being a whiner after ALL THIS TIME and cuddling him because unrequited love is such a hard thing to deal with. I already gave you my recommendations re: the one line paragraph, so I won't include those here. But over all, it definitely captures the feeling and style of kes's universe and covers a moment in time quite nicely.
Thanks, Steff. I was aiming for the style and feeling and glad it came across.
Date: 01 Sep 2013 04:26 Title: Chapter 1
"I have seen an Omega molecule.
"It's inferior to Maren and me."
How absolutely, Borg-o-rifficly romantic, lol.
This was an interesting read, and very well done. The third wheel always seems to come up, but I don't know that I've read something quite like this, seeing the reactions of all three friends to an impending marriage. But I also know that it was very scarily accurate, and for that, kudos bud. I am very much aware of what these feelings are like. My wife has a best friend from high school, that I didn't meet until I started dating my wife (that one chick, here on Ad Astra) in college. Mandolin quickly became like a sister to me, and even then, closer than that. She's incredible, and so is my wife. Marrying her was the absolute scariest and best decision of my life, and I don't regret it at all. But the relationship between her and Manda, and me and Manda, and the three of us...just isn't exactly the same.
You captured these thoughts, feelings, concerns, and doubts PERFECTLY. I knew exactly what each of kes's characters were thinking and feeling because I've had thoughts very similar - if not exactly the same - as every one of them. An absolutely amazing insight you have here, and a job well done. I'm sure kes7 is proud of the work you did here, and you should be too. Great job, bud.
I took a few guesses here and there about this. I've certainly been in the situation of watching friends get married that I otherwise might want to pursue romantically. I'm glad I got the thought and feelings down right here and I'm glad you found it 'perfect'. This was a fun piece to write and a favorite group of characters as well.
Date: 31 Aug 2013 22:01 Title: Chapter 1
Hahaha. I won't promise you a happy ending, so you wrote one yourself. Classic. Fanfic FTW! XD
But OMG, I loved this. What an awesome job you did capturing the dynamics between these three. John's thoughts about what being with Maren would be like were spot on for him and so very sweet. Maren's thoughts were very her, as well. Waking up after a long nightmare ... that nails it, as did her thoughts about her regrets and her thoughts about not wanting to lose John. As for Icheb, the decision not to straighten the vase, and his thoughts about it, were absolutely perfect. Total character growth, in remarkably few words.
What an utterly adorable piece. Thank you for making me grin like an idiot at the end of a very tough week.
I'm glad you liked this. I was hoping it'd please you, as seeing your week was from hell. I don't know at one point this happy ending happens but I advanced them down the road a little bit to get them to this point. I wanted to show them wiser and I wanted to show some growth, because I figure by this point they've achieved it. Yes, they get their happy ending. This was originally supposed to be only a JQ piece, but the other two wanted to chime in.
Date: 31 Aug 2013 12:48 Title: Chapter 1
Very well done trekfan.
John self torture about his true feeling for Maren is well executed.
Maren high hopes for the future as she studies herself in her wedding dress, seem spot on.
Icheb self analysis is so him and yet he shows how much he learnt from the other two and from Tom Paris.
A pleasure to read, very well done trekfan.
Thanks Bill. Yeah, these characters are important to me and I wanted to make sure to strike the right tone with them, at least in terms of how they are in the future.
Date: 31 Aug 2013 11:08 Title: Chapter 1
I think you capture the very different voices well here.
John's despair and his resignation. Maren's hope but also her doubts and her realization that, no matter what, things are going to change with John and there's nothing she can do about it. And Icheb's cold efficiency but also his attempts to overcome it, as he understands that things aren't always perfect but that that's not fatal, and that that is a part of Maren's (and, really, everyone's) charm. I loved the little bit about the one floral arrangements that's off by a centimeter.
Beautifully rendered and fully realized!
Thanks, jes. The three distinct voices here were key to this entire piece as, writing in the first person, things are assuredly more personal and I had to get those voices right. The three of them have one of the most unique dynamics I've encountered and getting it right was one of the things I was worried about. Glad you liked it.