Date: 28 May 2013 22:38 Title: Chapter 2
Ok, so so many firstlys I don't know where to begin. I'll start with the sweet romance that finds us looking both at Wyoun and Eris much closer through one another's eyes and so we get to see more of these characters in a previous life and learn something of their mettle and core. And how those certain triats will carry down through the miullenia. And curses, but you're making me follow this little romance as you've neatly tied it into their development and into the story that leads somehow to the Vorta's downfall me thinks.
Firstly, again I want to say about all the neat little touches that add flavour and spice to the Vorta way - the physical features and the touches of courting for example, to the actual spices and juices to the courtship itself.
And again, we get some clever insights into something of their past. The cloning and the protests as well as the synaptic transference deal. We can see where this is going (with a real NuBSG feel to it going on) for down the line and sure enough someone surely is mucking about with that technology. And of course, through this discourse we learn something about Eris and Weyoun and they learn and appreciate more about each other.
After this, she is willing to show her the site and it is there that we see that she is opening up to him, sees something in him. This is and of itself should be the big moment here but then ... OMG you went and showed the very possible steps of the legend of the GODs? Wow. Wow. And yet, given it is the Founders I can't help but also be open to the possibility of this being a fraud HOWEVER wow. What a moment and Weyoun is floored by it. The shared experience spurring on the later session no doubt as it creates a special moment between the two. My only crit here though is that Weyoun doesn't seem to mull on seeing the very footsteps of their faith before his own eyes much after the event, not even when the site area is about to be challenged again.
And then we come to Soltoi. Wow, what a ? she is. Man oh what a character creeping into the story and now going to drive a wedge between Weyoun and Eris. More than that, I'm thinking there's more to her that meets the eye. Is she perhaps a Founder in guise?
Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for all your detailed and kind reviews! I did want to tell the 'story' of the Vorta, I guess, through following the life of one Vorta, and, well, Weyoun being my favorite, it made sense that it was him. It was fun to do the world-building through the characters. You brought up so much speculation in your reviews about where this fic is going that I kind of wanted to rewrite parts of it! Haha. Good point on Weyoun's lack of continued thinking about the Founder's footprints at the site--that's definitely something I'll change if I ever give this another edit/repost. There's a lot that I want to respond to, but I suppose I should let the fic unfold and speak for itself. Sigh. ;) Thanks again so much for reading and reviewing!
Date: 28 May 2013 21:36 Title: Chapter 1
"You have a certain skill for saying the most effective thing, regardless of whether or not it's the full truth of a matter." Ha! What a telling line. My it has to be said, this so did not go in the direction I thought it would. The leap back in time was shock enough and then we get introduced to Weyoun and Eris! And it seems we have a love story to boot! Not at all what I was expecting.
However, it made it a quite the character piece because we got to see Weyoun playing politics before his latter role in life. This is the original format that created that Weyoun. He seems nice and genuine, but he also has ambitions and wants to succeed and seems willing to tell a lie with a smile if needs be. He also is charming and intelligient and a promising future leader.
You've created an intriguing set up then with his courting Eris and especially that they should find themselves on opposite sides to arguments. Seems like it will be an interesting relationship. Very well done and although I don't usually do romances I can do so when the story is also serviced by the romance.
Here we do because through their relationship and the different sides of the case they are on we get to learn something about the planet, the legends, the faith, the science, the politics and most telling the already high regard for the Founders. The story is getting peeled back layer by layer. And yet I find myself wondering is there any truth to the legend or is that too some sort of fabricated lie? Very interesting.
Date: 28 May 2013 21:04 Title: Prologue
Oh my FOUNDER! Wow. Honestly, I was intrigued by your little blurb and the promise to reveal the truth of the Vorta and by the fact you made me question myself for the fact that the mystery behind the Vorta hadn't quite filtered down to my subconscious as I was caught up more in say the mystery of the Founders themselves, or the Breen, etc. But yes, for all the appearances of the Vorta in DS9 we didn't get much about them as a people and even some of that almost seemed a spilled lie, false proganda sometimes too. So this should have proved mildly interesting to say the least to read.
How wrong was I?
This was phenomenal to read! Honestly, the fact that the very originals of the Vorta were completely wiped out and that there fate seems to have been masterminded in part by one of their own. No wonder then that they are completely subservient to the Founders. And what a chilling truly evocative and descriptive scene you wrote of the dead planet so much so I rather imagine it appears as DVD extra on the boxset or something cos I had it pictured so vividly just how you went about telling it.
This line especially gave me chills (and yes a big mean streak of jealousy): A deathly hush pervaded the entire planet, devoid, suddenly, of its dominant species, left entirely to the small wild things.
Terrific use of language and turns of phrase and story telling here and of course you made the Founder very chilling and cold in her calculated genocide of the Vorta. The scientist's look up and look down and calling her Founder after he brought this death on his people proving to the Founder that this has been a true sucess, they've killed the Vorta and the one who did it is faithful and loyal to the Founders still even after seeing the death. Almost as though that is what clinched the deal for the Founder to accept the genetic material of the Vorta. Very villianous. And then to end with the bald statement: I don't want to be here when the orbital bombardment begins. Cold.
And a brilliant piece. Consider me following for more.