Date: 01 Aug 2014 20:05 Title: Chapter 2
Ok, so we've just had our first staff meeting. And boys wasn't it a doozy. Not for what was said, because essentially it was standard Trek fare. Assemble everyone and tell them the mission in a line or two (Really in an age of visual communication, there surely could be more efficient means of conducting such a meeting - I digress).
As I say, the real meat is in the undercurrents between the senior staff. Particularly, how we see them as filtered through the eyes of Wirstowx. Of all the senior staff, he seems the most adjusted, most loyal to the chain of command and respectful of the captain. He clearly is a tactican given how he observes and analyses the various crewmembers and their interactions to decipher the powerplays and bases within the ship. It's a little thing but it adds to his character and lends to his tactical role. It is also a very useful tool for the reader too as we get a feel for the various characters with a mini run down on them. It's a terrific way of catching readers up to speed without it being info dump or exposition.
The approach shows again the fluid and efficient style of your writing. You get to the thrust of things but we get so many broad brush strokes to fill in most of the picture that we are not left wondering what is going on or who is who. Nicely done.
What we learn from the briefing is quite telling. There are a few problems among the senior staff and alarmingly her chief engineer and operations chief seem to totally disregard St. Peter. These are key areas and linked areas at that. The two of them have the ability to cloud the judgements of those working in their departments and almost run a banana republic between them onboard. And if fault lies with Sinclair and with Elaina for their attitudes, I do think Jessica has part of the blame to share for giving leeway to disrespect her.
Of course, she's in a difficult position and new to the command post so it is hard for her to adjust never mind the likes of Sinclair and Elaina. Without command experience how can she navigate such politics? This mission I feel will test that greatly but hopefully will serve up lessons for Jessica about command - hopefully just not costly lessons.
Date: 30 May 2013 18:20 Title: Chapter 2
Wirstowx is ironically the one senior officer who is the most level-headed, disciplined and experienced of them all. I get the feeling that Jessica's only true allies at this point -- amongst the senior staff -- are Dossu and Wirstowx. You definitely give a sense of a very green senior staff and I rather shudder to imagine how they are going to cope with the Hirogen. Finally Elaina is a real prat! She wasn't so confident when the Rafale was in extreme danger and with a first officer or captain. So it will be very interesting to see how Jessica is going to manage Elaina.
Finally I would love to see Wirstowx take on a Hirogen though!
Date: 07 Apr 2013 15:25 Title: Chapter 2
Following more of this now. It ties into Merrily, Merrily, so I'm getting why Jessica was promoted before others who outranked her. The question becomes will the members of the 'old guard' who are left help or hinder their new command team? And I have a feeling this mission isn't going to be so routine when they run into the critters who opened the first chapter. The plot thickens...
BTW, very much enjoying your writing style. I know you've credited your editor in the past, claiming she is deserving of some of the praise and while I agree wholeheartedly that good editing can serve to improve a piece, you have to have something good to start with. Turns of phrase and especially character descriptions give this piece a strong feel and help novices like me keep track of all the OCs and their respective positions. Looking forward to more. :)
Author's Response: Thanks very much. My wife is certainly a life saver, and she'll be happy to see this recognition (Her name on the site is "that one chick," fyi) of her fine editorial skills. But, I will say this; with practice comes some degree of mastery of this art. I'm finding that she's having to provide fewer comments and edits, so I'm pretty happy with that. ^^