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Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 23:28 Title: Prologue

Oh so wrong about who the woman was in the prologue.  Glad to be, though.  This was a fantastic read, rich with character development and true-to-life interactions, biases and prejudices.  I so enjoyed this glimpse into Rihannsu culture, as well as the well-thought-out and implemented plot twists that kept me guessing at every turn.  Kudos, Mike. :)



Author's Response:

Thanks, cuppy!  I would be remiss to accept your kind words without acknowledging my co-author, AJ Gertner, who did all of the Rihannsu planning/execution on this entry.  She deserves equal credit.

Thanks for reading!

-- MDg

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 23:09 Title: Epilogue

Wow, Romulans on Betazed! It's going to be an interesting experience when they attend their first wedding, I expect. Great read!

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 23:05 Title: Chapter Ten

I like the way this has all wrapped up so far. I like seeing the more "human" side of flag officers, and even a bit of sentimentalism.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:55 Title: Chapter Nine

Well, that seems to be a bullet well dodged. Trust the tax man to make sure he's getting his cut, regardless of what means are necessary to do so.

It's nice to see that a mealtime conversation that started out rather awkward got more lighthearted and teasing towards the end. There may be some hope of these ladies forging some sort of relationship, even if it isn't a friendship.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:41 Title: Chapter Eight

Oh man. They got so close to their goal, minus one key piece, and now the Romulans are looming. It's kind of heartbreaking in a way, and I really hope they manage to get everyone out of there safely.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:30 Title: Chapter Seven

I believe this is what human women would refer to as a "bitch fight." It was inevitable that this conflict would boil over, and I love the solution. It reminds me of a picture I've seen of a boy and a girl sharing a large white tee-shirt, marked their "Get Along shirt." With each dependent on one another for the success of this mission and beyond, it will be interesting to see how things play out.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:23 Title: Chapter Six

I really love the view of Romulan culture that you present here. The formal nature, class divisions, accents... all of it made the chapter more interesting.

Of course, this Tal Shiar man may very well present the shoe in the works that causes their carefully formed plan to unravel.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:14 Title: Chapter Five

The tension in the first part of this chapter is palpable. This is one of those missions that all it would take is a minor power fluctuation and everything goes all to hell.

I really like all the detail that has gone into this plan and it's execution. Still, I have a feeling that something is going to gum up the works before long.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 22:06 Title: Chapter Four

One of the things that bothers me the most about Star Trek is that enemy species are often treated as every member of said species is inherently evil, while every human is pure of heart. I like how this really shows how there are good members of every species, even those as xenophobic as the Romulans.

I understand the reasons for Kelley's biases now, but it still seems a rather dangerous thing for a Starfleet officer on this sort of mission.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 21:37 Title: Chapter Five

That was an interesting turn of events.  Is Tei really concerned about Grey and the success of the mission, or is she just setting him up?  Onward...

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 21:24 Title: Chapter Four

Very interesting.  The plot thickens.  Now I have two people in mind for the idenntity of the mysterious woman in the prologue.  We'll see if either one is right.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 21:23 Title: Chapter Three

It's interesting to see how the rest of the crew interacts with Tei. You really see the full gamut of emotions, from distrust to respect to being placed on a pedestal. I am rather suspicious of Kelley right now, though, and I want to know why she is reacting the way she is. She seems to question her Captain's judgement on more than one issue. What is simmering below the surface?

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 20:53 Title: Chapter Three

Best lines in this chapter:

"Why didn't you just keep Khnialmnae?" Piggy wondered.

"We felt it was inappropriate to keep the name of the House that would execute us if we were ever caught."

Grey looked from one officer to the other before pronouncing, "Her story is better.

Loved the interplay and the dynamics we saw between the characters in this chapter.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 20:31 Title: Chapter Two

Another round of introductions to some rather interesting characters.  I love the idea behind the prototype cloaking device - seems like the technology to change the sensor signature would be less involved than that designed to hide an entire ship, although I do wonder if that would be entirely effective in all sitations.  Seems to me there are places that 'foreign,' or even 'friendly' vessels just shouldn't be, regardless of whether or not they are considered a threat.

Some good interplay regarding the dynamics between the characters here, too.  Already speculating as to who will have a problem with Tei, and who won't.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 19:52 Title: Chapter One

Nice scene setting here, and character establishment for those of us who aren't intimately familiar with all of these folks.  Found myself having to read sections several times to get it all straight in my head, but think I have it all sorted now.

You captured the essence of the memorial service very well, delight at seeing old comrades rapidly morphing into sorrow based on the somber reason for the gathering.

Oddly, I found it was the interplay between Kircheis and her XO in the beginning that was the most intriguing.  Obviously two very different people in the way they approach life, but the affection and loyalty were there, one just had to read between the lines to see it.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 18:40 Title: Chapter Two

Oooh, this is an interesting mission for them to be partaking in. And man... "Piggy" sure seems to be green around the gills (and possibly in possession of a Romulan fetish). I have a sneaking suspicion that one or both of those traits will lead to awkwardness at minimum-- if not outright catastrophe-- during this mission.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 18:08 Title: Prologue

Great start so far.  I confess, I haven't read the other tales, so the identity of the woman and what happened to her family are a mystery to me, but my interest is definitely piqued.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 15:41 Title: Chapter One

Funerals have this odd knack of bringing out both the best and the worst of people and situations. There's the pain of mourning, the joy of reunions, and above all, the gossip that lies behind even the most well-behaved facades. I think you've captured all of those emotions extremely well here. There is obviously a ton of subtext and oblique reference contained within this chapter and I can't wait to see where it all goes.

Reviewer: Erin Moriarty Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Nov 2014 12:11 Title: Prologue

This was an extremely effective prologue. It really worked well to paint the scene, and it gave the reader enough information to become interested in who this woman is and what she is doing, without being the "knock you upside the head" sort of exposition. I can't wait to see who she is, what she's done, and what the consequences are.

I love the use of the small child in this piece. If I am guessing right, this is a juxtaposition of innocence and guilt, blissful ignorance and the crushing weight of knowledge. Well done!

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2013 20:31 Title: Epilogue

Love this story. Kircheis and the Gallant were awesome, Teelis was a wonderful character, loved the conflict of character and moral with Kelley (though I'm a little disappointed she was "rewarded" in the end...I didn't feel like there was much resolution with her bigotry and more could/should have been done to correct her). I'm looking forward to Task Force Vanguard!

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Apr 2013 20:26 Title: Chapter Seven

GO TEELIS!!!

Reviewer: Gibraltar Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Dec 2012 21:10 Title: Epilogue

Wow, that’s some coda! A fantastic revelation at the end of what was a magnificent story. I very much enjoyed the in-depth look into Rihannsu culture, as well as into the inner workings of the characters.

The character interplay was nothing short of phenomenal, with clashing personalities, viewpoints, prejudices, and all the other baggage that comes with all manner of squishy, imperfect biologicals.

I appreciated the opportunity Kircheis gave Kelley, despite the XO’s having stepped well over the line of acceptable behavior. The captain turned it into a teaching moment, one that will make Kelley a better person, and ultimately, a better commanding officer for her own crew.

A damn fine job by the both of you. I can’t wait to read the next story of Gallant’s adventures!

Reviewer: Gibraltar Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Dec 2012 19:13 Title: Chapter One

A heart-rending scene as Leone falls apart publically in the depth of her grief. It was so well written, I felt myself misting up, too.

What would, under different circumstances, have been a wonderful reunion between old comrades is in instead a mournful occasion.

 

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Dec 2012 17:29 Title: Chapter Four

Woah, tense talk between Kircheis and Kelley. And it looks like the XO has a pretty good reason to mistrust the Romulans. Too bad she appears unwilling to consider exceptions to this rule. I don't think neither of them handled this situation very well which could lead to problems down the line.

Meant to ask, is the Border Patrol the same as the Border Service or a different agency within Starfleet?

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Dec 2012 17:09 Title: Chapter Three

What's bothering Kelley, I wonder? Does she really not like Romulans or is there something more.

I like her explanation for her underwhelming response to being offered a command. Serving on small ships like Gallant, it's almost as if you're in a whole different fleet, I'd imagine and certainly not what new recruits are shown in the propaganda material.

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