Date: 08 Apr 2013 18:06 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part two
A Read and Review Response :D
Ok, so headed into the chapter I had to admit I was worried about Kirk and Kor interactions and it all playing out like a script. However, you made their banter and interaction such that I loved it and wanted more and to see how they would react to the obstacles that were undoubtedly to be thrown their way. Atop of the banter though was the dilemma facing them as to whether they should help the other and what exactly are Trelane's motives or what schemes has he in mind. That led to some questioning from both men, yes we knew Kirk would help cause that's the hero but for Kor he had to have sufficient in-character and Klingon fitting reasoning to do so. He remains unconvinced in many ways and that's all good too. It can't be too straight forward.
Strangely (not that strange for I often expect it from you LBD) I can visualise the sets for these scenes as you make it feel like this is some undiscovered epsiode of TOS. I can imagine the music cues, the wonky beast/monster costume possibly recycled from a previous episode, the set of wooden logs, the sink sand, etc all as though if on a studio sound stage. Strange that I imagine that rather than an imagined real world but something about the touch and way you inhabit the characters and unweave the storyline makes it seem so like real TOS and so all to the credit and kudos of you (in case it came across as a failing).
You caught the tricky part to this beautifully - I didn't want to make the interaction between Kirk and Kor feel forced, or contrived, or unnatural. Essentially this takes place a day or so after Errand of Mercy, so there would be no love lost between the two. I wanted to capture that mistrust, combined with the wild card that is Trelane, and see how the two of them would react, given their differing natures. Hopefully I managed that...
Funny that you see the sets. I see terrain that surrounds me in my small corner of PA - sans quicksand naturally. ;-) But again, I was going for that episode feel, so that's some of the best praise I could get. :D
Date: 05 Apr 2013 18:15 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part one
A Miranda Fave Read and Review Challenge response (Challenge #2)
Well as always LBD, I get transported back to the TV set and seeing TOS onscreen when I read one of yours. But more than that though. The characters come alive and there's no trying to make them edgy or gritty, no effort to amp up the comedy factor. It all feels SO Trek especially the Original Series. It all feels so natural.
The banter between McCoy and Spock is always side splitting but never contrived in your hands. Always my favourite part of reading your tales is getting some of their interaction. You do it with polish and skill that it truly amazes me.
Then we come to your way of description - the opening with Kirk wandering about had such a tactile feel to it.
But always, the characterisation reigns supreme when reading a LBD story. Here with Trelane and Kor we can see and imagine these one off characters come alive again, find a voice once more and feel like proper continuations of the stories they played. It's early days yet in the scheme of things but we have them established with that and it is a great set up those characters find themselves in.
I also have to commend you for the canon details. You always do yourself proud on that front. But you use details like minor characters, the technological abilities of the time, etc to feed and flesh out your story. In addition, you have a terrific skill in placing a story in time. Not only does it feel like a TOS episode in so many ways, you have a knack for choosing 'when' to place the story. Like here, so soon after the Organians story you use that to fuel the tensions and mystery of Kirk's disappearance. Fantastically done.
As usual MF, your reviews just give me a warm fuzzy all over. :D My goal with this piece was to make it feel like an episode, essentially the next episode in the lineup, one that Gene forgot to include. Thanks so much for noticing that, and the little details like the minor characters and staying true to the technology we saw imagined in the 1960's for this world. My goal is not to change Gene's world, or improve it, but to add to it. Frankly I love TOS, warts and all, and try to play in that world, not apologize for it.
Date: 24 Jun 2012 12:41 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part one
A lively piece no less different in excellence to the other pieces written under your name. Kor intrigued me more in the story for obvious reasons, one could imagine John Colicos' glee at portraying Kor in this 'episode' if it ever had become one (in the world of make belief I guess!). Trelane no less irritating and childlike.
Thank you kindly. :D I think you're rubbing off on me - I kept trying to picture Colicos' expressions as I wrote this iteration of Kor. I agree - I think he would have enjoyed revisiting the character. Too bad it never happened in the series - Kor was a good foil for Kirk.
Date: 20 Jun 2012 19:08 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part one
So this Trelane wants a frag fest? What a simple fellow for someone so powerful... I wish there were bit more of what's happening to Kirk then all the stuff with McCoy and Spock. Spock explains things in excruciating detail. Logic would suggest if he kept his verbosery brief instead of sparring with McCoy he might get stuff done quicker.
Still looking forward to Kor beating the crap out of Kirk! Or vice versa...
Hey Ln X. Yeah, part of Spock's verbosity here is my fault - I was trying to make sure those readers who might be unfamiliar with Trelane or the episode in which he appeared would be able to understand what he was doing, and why. Trelane is probably best described as the TOS version of Q.
Trust me, this first chapter was just to set the scene. The action and focus on Kirk and Kor picks up in the next two chapters.
Date: 20 Jun 2012 10:39 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part three
that was a lot of fun to read! And...I realize this might come out the wrong way, but bare with me here...the pacing even reminded me a lot of a TOS episode. It was very well done and a good take on the theme.
Glad you enjoyed it. :D And no offence is taken by the reference - since this is based on two TOS episodes, that's the feel I was going for. Good to know I carried it off somewhat successfully.
Date: 19 Jun 2012 13:13 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part one
You do such a great job with dialogue--every character's voice is so perfectly articulated. As always (but bearing repeating) I love the way you write the interactions between Spock and McCoy. Anxiety makes McCoy more snappish and Spock more...Vulcanish. Nice work!
Thank you kindly - I always struggle with finding that balance for Spock/McCoy interactions that makes it believable. It's too easy to simply push it into the realm of the ridiculous. Glad to know it came off accurately. :D
Date: 19 Jun 2012 08:22 Title: Sleeping With the Enemy - part three
I was reminded quite a bit of one of my favorite TOS episodes, Day of the Dove. http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dove_(episode)
I like Kor as a character; you make him a lot more than a moustache-twirling fiend, an alien Snidely Whiplash. He's got depth as you write him. He's a worthy adversary for Kirk, and certainly could be a friend. I hope you let them meet again, perhaps under a guise that isn't Trelane- or Organian-dependent.
Hi jespah! I must admit, I was a little hesitant about the premise of this story because it does parallel DotD somewhat. Hopefully, it was different enough that it can be seen as a separate entity.
I've said before, Kor freaked me out when I was a kid, and my last two AU offerings certainly didn't paint him in a good light. But then I got to thinking - the man's a product of his environment, right? There must be some redeeming qualities that will come to the fore in the right situation. That's what I was going for with this; as to whether or not it came off that way...