Date: 16 Jun 2013 13:12 Title: Chapter 7
Ok, so this is reality now biting. St. Peter has gotten a hell of a blow there with the captain's announcement but things are sure only to get worse. And still despite the shift into a higher gear here we are still getting teased about the enemy's identity and keep wanting to turn the page.
And now I should comment on the sheer clip and pace of the story. You put in lots of build up with lots of character stuff too and yet all the time there is a sense of the story brewing and building towards something bigger and darker. Not just Jessica who could be called stormy the story and the way the writer builds it is like a growing storm. I think now is when we worry to batten down the hatches.
Date: 14 Jun 2012 23:46 Title: Chapter 7
Ugh… bad news for Jess wrapped up in tragic and alarming news for the Federation. Vega Colony, well within the Federation’s borders. The fact that it’s under attack that’s seemingly materialized from ‘thin air’ doesn’t bode well for our heroes.
Date: 13 Jun 2012 14:21 Title: Chapter 7
Wow, she really does deserve her nickname, doesn't she?
I was afraid of something like this happening. If Jessica's closest friends really did perish in that attack, I imagine it is going to be a blow from which she will not soon recover. Good job of making us so emotionally invested into your protagonist.
Date: 13 Jun 2012 07:51 Title: Chapter 7
... and now it begins to come together. And our girl isn't at 100%; that's no good.
I liked the transmission at the beginning, in particular. Just enough to be mysterious but not leave the reader too confused.
Author's Response: What's funny is I originally didn't have a stardate or location on that open; my wife (who beta's for me) responded with a bunch of question marks and recommend I add it, lol. And thus, an important lesson is learned; listen to your beta/wife. lol