Date: 19 Oct 2012 09:27 Title: Chapter 1
A very good story in that stuck to the perspective of the 'lower decks', plus what glimpses there were of the Borg you nailed them. You also brought in some interesting situations like Seurer being completely out of her element and thus someone of lower ranking taking charge (that being Jessica). What I like about it is how Jessica, with no command experience, simply followed her heart to protect the Merveille and her two friends. While Seurer was also following her heart but fear got the best of her. A very clever little contrast indeed.
My own complaint with the story was that Jessica, Bridget and Justine sometimes seemed a bit too emotional or a bit too relaxed about things. I guess that can be explained away by youthful exuberance and lack of experience.
Still despite this, I would give this story 4.5 stars out of five if the old staring system still remained on this site.
So nice one for packing in so much with a story less than 20000 words! A rather engaging story indeed...
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:35 Title: Two Weeks Later
Yikes: she got promoted and left with overseeing the repair of her ship as well as the putting back together of her friend. What a horrid series of events and yet it's so RIPE with story telling possibilties. I've enjoyed Jessica's little tale so far. Looking forward to more.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:31 Title: Chapter 10
Man ... that was messy. Bridget dying was sad and the pain felt by both Justine and Jessica was as real as it gets. Great job describing the scene (all that blood-I approve wholeheartedly).
Now ... how does Jessica move on?
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:26 Title: Chapter 9
Hell yeah! Ironic that the USS Wolf 359 would save the day but awesome stuff. Jess stepped up and owned in a big moment, while saving her friends and hundreds of people she doesn't know.
I wonder how this lowly science officer is going to be treated now that she's accumulated so much street (or space) cred? Should be fun.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:19 Title: Chapter 8
Oh shit ... the one thing that's never happened in Trek: the bridge actually gets blown up. Someone finally did it and it was the Borg.
This can't be good.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:14 Title: Chapter 7
Oh my. Is Vega colony and Merveille toast? How will Jessica cope if they are?
I have to admire Seymour's persistence. He gets point for that. Everything else ... maybe not. But points for persistence.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:06 Title: Chapter 6
So, there was a thing with Jessica and Bridget? That explains some of the reason why she's on the Rafale but not all of it ... what are these other reasons? Who is sending these ships after Starfleet vessels?
Questions, questions. I'm looking forward to the answers.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 22:02 Title: Chapter 5
Why would they enter into a relationship that would produce nothing to show for the effort beyond their affection?
Ah, a question that made me smile. The answer, love, is the correct one but I feel Jessica is just scratching the surface there. The interactions with Bridget and Justine were both fun but it seems Jessica is getting the short end of the stick on this trip ... I wonder why she took the assignment on the Rafale? Hmm.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 21:55 Title: Chapter 4
Oh wow. What are these probes and what's going on?
I must read more.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 21:51 Title: Chapter 3
Oh, Jessica. Way to shut down Seymour.
Continuing to really like the dynamics between her and Justine. I look forward to seeing Bridget jump into the fray.
What has the ship found? To the next chapter I go.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 21:37 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, Elaina looks to have an iteresting story to tell. I wonder what it is? Hmm.
Date: 06 Oct 2012 21:30 Title: Chapter 1
I'm liking Jessica and Justine. The friendship they have is very real feeling ... lots of back and forth, lots of banter, plenty of fun. What Jessica's ship is tracking is curious ... I have my ideas.
Date: 30 Jun 2012 02:11 Title: Two Weeks Later
Jess has certainly earned her spurs, and given the recent attrition in Starfleet's command ranks, she's likely to keep them. She's sure to discover command isn't easy, and can be terribly alienating, most especially for someone who was such a social butterfly.
Date: 30 Jun 2012 02:10 Title: Chapter 10
An agonizing scene, given the strong bonds between these characters. Though death is a constant, it will take the two who remain behind a long while to come to terms with this loss.
Date: 27 Jun 2012 08:18 Title: Chapter 10
Death scenes aren't easy to write, but I think you nailed this one. The denial, the weakness, the final request - I think they all went off without a hitch.
Date: 27 Jun 2012 08:17 Title: Two Weeks Later
A hard ending, and I know we haven't seen the end of Jess. Is her father still alive? I'm kind of wondering why he isn't visible more (assuming he is still among the living).
Date: 23 Jun 2012 04:12 Title: Chapter 9
That was an intense battle! Your descriptions of the action captured the drama without overwhelming the narrative, not something easily done.
Kudos to Jessica for stepping up in the face of Elaina’s indecision. Rafale nearly sacrificed itself in saving the crew and patients aboard Merveille, a testament to Jessica’s love for her friends. Fortunately, the ultimate sacrifice though offered was not accepted, and Jess lives to see another day.
I’ll be interested to see how she copes with the aftermath of this terrible battle.
Date: 22 Jun 2012 11:52 Title: Chapter 9
Our gal stepped up, big time. I'm actually kinda surprised that Wirst didn't step in, to fill the leadership gap.
But let's see if her friends really are okay. They might not be ....
Date: 20 Jun 2012 00:50 Title: Chapter 8
That’s pretty much the last thing you want to hear over the PA, aside from, “Abandon ship!”
You really captured the helplessness of those below decks and not immediately involved in the fight from a bridge-perspective. At least Wirstowx is still standing, as I think they’ll be needing a true warrior’s assistance sooner than later.
Really great drama here, and I loved Wirstowx’s reflection on the scent of fear his comrades were unconsciously giving off.
Date: 18 Jun 2012 08:34 Title: Chapter 8
I'm kind of wondering how Wirstowx got there so fast. I'm glad he did - it's just, it feels like a bit of the process or the timing was a little unclear. I think it's more because the last we see of him before he gets to Jess is that he's at his station on the Bridge. Perhaps just a fast line where the captain yells something like, "Wirstowx, get down there!" ? I dunno, just a thought.
Author's Response: yeah...it was a little odd to me too when I was re-reading it before I posted it. My main thing with this was that, if the main couple characters I have (if I haven't spoiled it yet which ones those are, lol) aren't around, they won't know what happened elsewhere...and (unfortunetly, as in this case) neither will we. The best I can offer is that Wirstowx was called out as soon as the conversation with the science officer was finished, and he made his way the couple decks down while the scene in the lab finished and the scene in engineering took place. :( I might revisit it.
Date: 14 Jun 2012 23:46 Title: Chapter 7
Ugh… bad news for Jess wrapped up in tragic and alarming news for the Federation. Vega Colony, well within the Federation’s borders. The fact that it’s under attack that’s seemingly materialized from ‘thin air’ doesn’t bode well for our heroes.
Date: 13 Jun 2012 14:21 Title: Chapter 7
Wow, she really does deserve her nickname, doesn't she?
I was afraid of something like this happening. If Jessica's closest friends really did perish in that attack, I imagine it is going to be a blow from which she will not soon recover. Good job of making us so emotionally invested into your protagonist.
Date: 13 Jun 2012 07:51 Title: Chapter 7
... and now it begins to come together. And our girl isn't at 100%; that's no good.
I liked the transmission at the beginning, in particular. Just enough to be mysterious but not leave the reader too confused.
Author's Response: What's funny is I originally didn't have a stardate or location on that open; my wife (who beta's for me) responded with a bunch of question marks and recommend I add it, lol. And thus, an important lesson is learned; listen to your beta/wife. lol
Date: 10 Jun 2012 17:15 Title: Chapter 6
The three women obviously have a complicated relationship, and some awkward backstory in places. Nonetheless, their friendships have withstood the vagaries of romantic dalliances, and now their careers have started upward trajectories.
I sincerely hope Bridget’s parting words were not a bad omen, given the recent happenings in that sector.
Date: 10 Jun 2012 17:00 Title: Chapter 6
Sounds like there is trouble in paradise. Or at the very least an omen for bad things to come. Things are simply too peaceful at the moment, leading me to believe something big is going to happen soon. Funny thing is, I'm enjoying this almost domestic vibe so much, I wouldn't even mind if nothing out of the ordinary would happen to Jessica and her friends for a while.
Also have been catching up wit Jessica's background story. Very nice and touching stuff.