Date: 29 Sep 2013 12:28 Title: Demotion
Well-done Major Jay Hayes for busting that Corporal back to private.
Still it’s a different story from your usual type and yet you give Chang a semi-believable reason to try and be creative with his interpretation of orders and what he is after from Sandra.
Still Major angry is handle well and you use the unexpected arrival to get Chang to talk himself into further trouble, loss of rank and pay bonus.
So he pretty much lost everything, his rank, his pay and his fancy woman for not been prepare to go into the Xindi insectoid hatchery.
As always an easy to read prose that sets the scene well.
Chang's done something horribly stupid here, and he has chucked away a lot of work for, really, not much. Poor judgment on his part.
Thank you for reading.
Date: 21 Aug 2013 07:13 Title: Demotion
Hm. Not sure how I feel about this one. Chang is a little over the top, given he's been serving how long? And plenty a jerk to have done so without being called on it prior. As to Jay, you don't get much here and what you do get seems to be missing some layers. I'd probably recommend fleshing this one out... no pun intended. ;)
Mike also thought this one was kind of slight. It was a free write about going AWOL. Hmm.