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Reviewer: FalseBill Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Sep 2013 12:54 Title: The Gift

Now Doug found a way to give his wife the news about the gift he has been arranging for her. Thought I do agree in his excitement that he was making much sense about explaining his gift to his wife.

Still what a nice last line to end the story on.

Author's Response:

Oh, I thank you!

Reviewer: SLWalker Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Aug 2013 13:19 Title: The Gift

Too spare, here. I'd recommend more atmospheric work, and expressiveness. It's a pretty big moment, and yet, it's mainly done in dialogue and the dialogue alone falls sort of flat. It has a ton of potential with some fleshing out, though.

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