Date: 29 Sep 2013 19:54 Title: The Gift
Now Doug found a way to give his wife the news about the gift he has been arranging for her. Thought I do agree in his excitement that he was making much sense about explaining his gift to his wife.
Still what a nice last line to end the story on.
Oh, I thank you!
Date: 21 Aug 2013 20:19 Title: The Gift
Too spare, here. I'd recommend more atmospheric work, and expressiveness. It's a pretty big moment, and yet, it's mainly done in dialogue and the dialogue alone falls sort of flat. It has a ton of potential with some fleshing out, though.