Date: 14 Jul 2014 17:22 Title: Chapter 2
High octane action here but I particularly enjoyed how you kept the imagery alive. The rain and the raging storm are almost as much characters in this story as Beks, Jodhaa and Talon.
In the meantime the hunters turn into the hunted and Beks has to give it her all to attempt and stop the unstoppable assassin and to give her friend a chance to escape. Was it all for nothing?
Talon should probably have fully verified the kill before moving on. Something tells me not doing so is going to be one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
Thanks CeJay. Yup, lots of action and the raging storm was a neat trick to tell, reflect and add to the action scenes. So chuffed you liked the imagery. And yes, Talon does seem nigh unstoppable ... but perhaps Beks may be too.
Date: 06 Jan 2014 09:13 Title: Chapter 2
God, that was a gut-wrenching sequence with Jodhaa coming upon her friends' bodies. I didn't even know Rini or Marro but the way you described them through her eyes made me wish I had. As for the fight scene ... Yikes. This is one scary dude. I like the mystery around him, sort of a Darth Vader character.
Yay, so happy this worked. It had to absolutely awful to make her way through all of that it has to be said. And then only to have to face ... erm ... Darth Vader evil dude. Thank you for those comments as it was of course always going to be hard making the reader feel for characters they don't ever get to meet.
Date: 19 Aug 2011 09:25 Title: Chapter 2
This fight scene toward the end of this part was expertly written. Although this is a STAR TREK story, I picture the gritty world of Alien or Aliens. I'm pretty sure Beks is alive, so will be fun to see just what Talon does or does not find.
And such a build up for Zaddon’atale. I hope its worth the wait!
Thanks. Yes, I was going for gritty so I'm chuffed to bits it came across for you. Again, thank you for reading. Really thought this story had been missed altogether. As for Aliens, I have watched it recently and I love its setting. To be honest, I'd love to do an Aliens setting. Or Aliens meets Trek! AhA!
As for Zaddon'atale, he's the big bad behind things. It will take some time before you meet him. He's actually the creating of CamPSD (who created the character of Jodhaa too) but so far he's been this off screen figure we are trying to build up into an evil crime lord and a force to be reckoned with. Seems I might have gotten that off to a good start by your reaction. Cool! Thanks again Rob.