Date: 04 Dec 2011 08:53 Title: Chapter 11
Oh, Tucker, it is very much like transporting LOL
Ugh, teaching a child cruelty from early age, eh?
That switching knife thing is very American ;) Europeans don't do that. I think the first time I heard about that switching was on some forum, merely a few months ago LOL
The date didn't go as planned. Lily not really interested ad Aidan interested in the wrong girl.
Ha, well, not exactly like transporting ....
Yeah, Jun, he is meant to be the World's Brattiest Child. Plus he's nasty of course.
The knife switching for eating - I know that forks are a relatively recent invention in terms of cutlery. Of course not everyone would use the same things.
And, the World's Most Disastrous Date. Aidan fancies himself a bit of player on our side, too.
Date: 04 Dec 2011 07:49 Title: Chapter 10
I'm a little bit disturbed that Lily isn't very disturbed by his past and by his world. She seems to take it quite calmly. Doug might not be a typical representative of his barbaric world, but he still speaks casually of barbaric things and she doesn't seem very shocked by it, only mildly surprise or appalled . Or maybe it's just not obvious from dialogue, due to lack of descriptions of her reactions, I'm not sure.
The Empress's order was stupid, no doubt about that. No surprise they can't make everything work efficiently and they don't have as much advantage as they should, having a ship from the future--not really their future, but still a future of advanced technology.
They kind of making plans for their future together and they can't even know if that future is possible...
I also see Doug and Lili as almost being a couple where one of them is about to go to war. You make plans but you have no idea if you're going to be able to actually fulfill them, ever.
Oh, Hoshi does a lot of impetuous things, stupid things. I see her as a cross between Caligula and Livia, if you know I, Claudius or even the original, which was Tacitus, about the Roman Emperor Claudius. She lusts for sex and for power, but the details are something that just bog her down and bore her. Plus she uses them as an excuse to put down Travis half the time.
Lili is, she's hooked. But she also has some background, after killing the Insectoid. She's had her own hauntings. And she sees that he's remorseful. It would most likely be a dealbreaker for her if he wasn't.
Date: 04 Dec 2011 07:29 Title: Chapter 9
It's actually super cool that their scenery can change as they wish. It can be as romantic as they want and if any of them doesn't like something, it can be immediately changes without that much effort. Dating in dreamworld is convenient :)
Even Doug considered that it might not last! But I agree with him--Lili coming to his side wouldn't be a good idea at all.
To think of it...he doesn't seem as bloodthirsty and murderous as many people in that universe. He seems a decent guy among wolves. It's a surprise he's still alive, but then, maybe there's something I don't know about him yet. Even with his fourteen victims--he regrets and they haunted him in dreams. I doubt this happens to many people.
He is ... an amazing guy. Despite his flaws (and he has plenty). He is meant to be a person who can see that their way is wrong, and will eventually destroy them. He has good survival instincts too - he didn't make it to 54 (the old man) for nothing. And there are probably few people who make it that far, which is also why it's remarkable that he's the "old man".
The haunting is a nascent conscience.
Date: 04 Dec 2011 07:16 Title: Chapter 8
"Lieutenant, everyone notices." Ahahahaha! I laughed out loud at that :D I wish you added a description how she said those words :D
I thought about it, Malcolm thought about it, but Lily didn't and it is about her? Her infatuation seems deep, if it didn't even occur to her that meetings in dreams might come to an end...possibly even a sudden end.
And an alliance is being forged...
Yeah - and the Swiss cheese database is a quickie shoutout to the old Quantum Leap show.
Date: 04 Dec 2011 06:36 Title: Chapter 7
The difference in dealing with the Calafans reminds me so much of how Kirk and Mirror Kirk dealt with the Halkans. Well done here; it shows how different both realities are and has that connection with the canon. Not to impede your story writing, but to tell me without a doubt who those people are. Having the Defiant from the future, behaving like Mirror Mirror aggressors...it all is a part of a greater universe.
Archer talks; Empress Hoshi commands.
Date: 04 Dec 2011 06:22 Title: Chapter 6
So, some mysteries start to be revealed, both for me and for them. I just wonder how far they could go with their...relationship?...if they can be together only in their sleep. Not only this is not really real, but also could stop any moment. They don't know how come it's possible and they can't be sure that a stupid probe into some nebula wouldn't ruin it all and cut them off from each other forever.
The idea is - it's incredibly fragile. And he's a bit of a moose, so it's not easy for him to deal with something that could shatter at any moment.
Date: 02 Dec 2011 07:08 Title: Chapter 5
Hmm, high levels of Y chromosomes isn't surprising in a society of brutal conquerors--they have to have all those conquerors from somewhere, especially with high rate of assassinations. Men probably pump themselves with stuff to be able to keep up with sex til old age and have as many sons to die as possible.
My guess only, of course.
But...is he falling in love with the lady from his dreams? That would be something! She's from his dreams, but very real.
Well - no spoilers - but the old man did just kick Jenn out. And Jenn is the hottest woman on his ship. She's also a good fifteen-plus years younger than Lili.
But the fellow is 54. Jenn is half his age - 27 - and he can't relate to her any more than Lili in our universe can relate to her version of Jennifer. Plus Jenn is plotting. He may not know that, but he does know that she's sleeping around. She's not exactly trustworthy.
The Y chromosomes - it's a thought experiment I had conducted about the MU. I came to the conclusion that it's Survival of the Fittest run amok, and they're all naturally on steroids. That explains the aggression and a surplus of males (so, even more aggression). I also have it pushing a higher sex drive in both genders.
Date: 02 Dec 2011 06:56 Title: Chapter 4
This is getting curiouser and curiouser.
Darn, she should have known that familiar-unfamiliar voice didn't mean anything good LOL
Another snake, e. g. it's too good to be true. How can she reconcile how seeing him made her react with what else is happening?
Date: 02 Dec 2011 06:28 Title: Chapter 3
This is getting messy and ugly...and the dream probably isn't just a dream.
BTW, do those people think or do anything else on those starships? ;)
There's always a snake in the garden. The other thing - that faint crack - a bit of a plot point there.
For the MU, what I wanted were people who behaved sophomorically much of the time. Jenn is sketching a schematic because the Defiant was just grabbed. No one really knows how to maintain it.
This was to solve a canon issues from TOS - why are the Prime Universe and the MU at more or less identical levels of technology? If the Defiant, from something like 2250, is grabbed in 2154 or so, then the MU should be way ahead of us. But they aren't. And, to me, it's because, in part, no one takes maintenance seriously, and no one really bothers to study the Defiant and try to build on this amazing gift of advanced technology that just fell into their laps.
Date: 02 Dec 2011 05:47 Title: Chapter 2
Ah? A shared dream? Ah? (Sulu voice) Oh, my...
It was only a "partial" dream then...and melting clothes remove the sometimes awkward situation of undressing and getting stuck in something LOL
And now what--he'll wake up remembering oranges? :D
I wish I could solve my problems in dreams, too. Would save a lot of worry ;)
Yes - dreams are somewhat convenient when it comes to disrobing and things like that, eh?
Oranges are one of the recurrent themes ....
Date: 02 Dec 2011 05:39 Title: Chapter 1
I smell trouble. A glitch? The same glitch? Here and there?
Some can only dream, some have the real thing ;)
Let's see where this is all going...
One thing I want to point out here is Lili's isolation. Jenny is someone who she does not socialize with. She (Lili) barely talks to anyone, unless she's explaining what she's serving, or asking someone if they want more coffee. She starts off as a complete and utter drudge.
Date: 01 Aug 2011 06:36 Title: Chapter 19
Things are heating up, can't to see how it all plays out. Awesome build up and suspense Jes. Thank you
It's a struggle to know how much to reveal. Glad that keeping a few veils on is a good thing!
Date: 29 Jul 2011 03:09 Title: Chapter 16
Gahhhh cliff hangers. At least this isnt a season end cliff hanger and I have to wait 6 months or more for the conclusion lol. Awesome. The slow build up of suspense is excellent. Keep at it Jes, I'm really enjoying this story. Thank you
It feels like I'm slowly playing out a fishing line.
Date: 23 Jul 2011 16:21 Title: Chapter 11
PIns and Needles. I'm really enjoying the suspense and build up. Write faster please. Haha just kidding, but not really.
I really like this story.
Ha, that made me laugh!
I have reams and reams (well, electronic reams) .... Be careful what you wish for ....
Date: 22 Jul 2011 22:04 Title: Chapter 1
Just read chapter nine, i like where its going. I hope Doug and Lily ......hmm dont want to spoil it. All Ill say is the USS Defiant successfully crossed over and remained.
Oh, I'm glad! :)
They are getting there.
Date: 20 Jul 2011 19:37 Title: Chapter 1
I enjoyed the premise of the story, it was very much a trek feeling situation. The writing style took me a little to get used to, I understand it was like an episode in how the narrative jumped around. The font change helped but I still found it difficult to follow. I hope this input helps.I dont mean to sound harsh, only to be honest. Thank you for the story.
I appreciate it. I had originally done it with color but that got kind of messy. There's more -- we're just getting started! :)