You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Cowgirlcadet1701 Signed [Report This]
Date: 31 May 2013 08:09 Title: Demora Is Missing

He looks all over the house for her, scared out of his wits, and finally finds her hiding in the clothes hamper. Reminds me of one time when I was a small fry and Mom and Dad couldn't find me, and they finally discovered me asleep in the playhouse buried in a big pile of stuffed animals.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 May 2013 15:51 Title: Staff Meeting At Nine

I don't know as I've read your other work, and this story is clearly not the very beginning.

But - the mark of a good writer is to be able to allow the reader to jump in, somewhere in the middle, and still more or less get it.

Fascinating, itchily paranoid reading. Kudos.

Reviewer: raven jean Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Sep 2012 00:45 Title: I'll Cross The Stream

this was a cute story but i really don't see james kirk as a father to saavik, maybe to his nephew peter, yes, but not to saavik.

Author's Response:

Thanks. I would say Jim tries to be a father to Saavik, but fails. He is an uncle, trying his best but never being a father. Their relationship is still quite tender, and they are a lifeline to each other in the hard times before Peter returns--which brings its own set of problems, including the apocalypse.

My premise for Saavik in this AU comes from the novelization of ST2:TWOK. In it, David finds out his parentage much earlier and then snarkily assumes that Saavik is Spock's daughter. Saavik rebuffs him, saying that if Spock were her father, he would endure the shame of the rape her Vulcan parent suffered at the hands of a Romulan.

My thought was, Spock is always Saavik's rock in most stories. But what if he himself were the victimized traumatized parent? We know Vulcans do not handle supressed memories very well. What would it do to their relationship?

In the end, Sarek and Amanda are both her grandparents and her parents. Even though Jim has no idea of Spock's past trauma, he feels he is standing in for his brother until that brother can take care of his child. Unfortunately, not calling Spock out on this is one of two great mistakes he makes in this AU.

 

Reviewer: Strider Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2012 16:38 Title: 31 Days

I really like what you did with this format--it's unique and creative. I am kind of sad for the politics and manipulations, but somehow I'm left with the hope that with the help of his crew, Kirk can cut through all that and blaze a better trail. Nice job!

Author's Response:

Thanks! I actually did follow up on this, in 'Encounter Thy Image', which uses this as a prologue. This format was certainly a challenge, but I've gotten good at drabbles, so it worked out.  Glad you liked it, and thanks!

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Apr 2010 22:40 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter

Indeed, they're both in Hell. Saavik's psychological and emotional from her tormentors, and Peter that, coupled with the physical. I'm certainly glad to see that Sarek so welcomed Saavik, with opened arms. The Archangel story was a great adage, very interesting, and--at least in my opinion--sort of had echoes of "Supernatural". If I might do a little inferencing, I distinctly remember that the Messiah had to suffer in Hell, before being Risen. And if Peter is anything like that, some sort of greatness--most likely not outright, considerring the trend of the story--is most likely to come, perhaps from uniting with Saavik. As for that toddler... are they breeding someone to combat Peter? Or is he for something else entirely?

Author's Response:

They are indeed breeding someone to combat Peter--and if he is a messianic figure, then this would be his ultimate opponent--sort of. The Archangel story works on several levels. Is Peter just a victim doing what he has to in order to cope with the horror he's undergoing? Is this a racial memory of some kind? And just how badass is Ghidorah if he killed and replaced the Devil before he even became that?

I prefer to think of Peter as a champion with some messianic burdens. Technically, at least according to Catholic doctrine, Jesus did not descend into Hell as we think of it. Rather, until he came after his own death, there was no place for the just dead--including the Prophets and heroes of the Old Testament--to go. There was a common afterlife for all but the most wicked. It was what we would call Limbo that Jesus went into, opening Paradise to the just and good dead.

Peter and Saavik's union will produce quite a bit, when it happens. Maybe more than their parents and guardians are ready for. Just how do you shut down two interested teens when they can rip apart planets? :D

 

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Apr 2010 21:21 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter

Interesting encounter with the Four Horsemen. I see why the book was titled "Not Into Temptation". From Madylen, to the Four Horsemen, he was definetely tempted. I liked the tie-ins to biblical scripture, complteted with the trip to Bethelehem. And not least of all interesting being that ending battled. And now the Order's got him, and I have no doubt that very very soon is when Sam and Relly's Hell comes true.

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Apr 2010 12:24 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter

Brave words by Peter at the end--brave, but true. It's hard to believe ANYONE could be as evil as Bri, especially to their own grandson, who was so polite, well-mannered, hard working, and intelligent. But at least now Winona is attempting to make things right. That station was a little disturbing--all those people worshipping something so evil; and then MADYLEN! *shudders* How are the order so crazy? ;)

Author's Response:

Some people are just that sadistic. In the anime Elfen Lied, Mayu, a young teen girl, was sexually abused by her stepfather. Finally telling her mother brought not disbelief--but jealousy at the 'attention' Mayu was recieving from this man. Later on, when the hero and heroine of the piece essentially take custody of Mayu, her mother signs her away without blinking. I mention that because we've all heard a thousand RL stories about people as screwed up as Bri.

Bri was originally a mistake on my part--I hadn't known most fanon places Jim's mother's name as Winona. The twin thing was a bit of a dodge to use in this case. But, for the purposes of this fairytale, while an unjust stereotype, Bri is the ultimate wicked stepmother.

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Apr 2010 23:33 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter

An enjoyable, feel-good chapter, if I do say so myself. But then again, maybe its just cuz I finished The Plague this morning. ;) I like your take on the Kobayashi Maru Incident. The way you changed it to fit the story, it seemed natural, like that had always been how things were. The history of the Enterprise, as well--or at least the bits we were shown--was also interesting. Liked Near-Null-Grav Ball. Sounds fun! Kind of like a dogeball of sorts. But I get the feeling theres NOT going to be quite as many feel-good, cheery moments when Peter is faced with Bri.

Again, there was another mention of the "Admirality Hall". I have a sort of vague idea of what it is, but are there other pieces that explain it? Or is it explained further on, what exactly the Hall is?

Author's Response:

In short, Admiralty Hall is the extreme embodiment of the 'mad Admiral' syndrome seen on TNG and DS9. The Order Of The Ancient Destroyer used their behind-the-scenes pull to get it constructed in the 2220's, despite opposition from many, including George Kirk Senior, who felt that the Admiralty would become isolated if fully insulated from those it lords over. Slowly, the Order made sure--most especially through John Gill--to indoctrinate and promote young officers of a xenophobic bent. Originally just a Hall, it started assuming powers unto itself, unchallenged by the UFP Council, who liked the quiet Starfleet the Hall promised them. They also embody the old warning : All evil requires to thrive is for those of good will to sit back and do nothing.

Not to press your patience yet again, but 'Lombard Street' covers some of this as well.

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Apr 2010 00:01 Title: Paradise Lost - The Books Of Peter

This was very interesting, and a very different take on things. It was at first confusing, but the more I read, the more I understand, and the more it was spelled out. I feel awful for Peter. That was a terrible tragedy.

Now, a question I had. Do I have this right? Uhura was friends with Peter's mother, and one of Peter's parents was a sibling of Kirk? Kirk and Uhura adopted Kirk. And Peter has some alien blood in him, from our favorite pointy-eared xenaphobes across the NZ, which, if I might speculate, gives him a connection to a certain Rommie named Saavik.

That little myth-tale about Ghidorah was clever-- I liked it. To make some connections about it... I do recall a Godzilla/Ghidorah movie where several of them teamed up against KG. Rainbow-Wing... could that be Mothra? And the Ape-Fish Godzilla? As for Shellback, I do distinctly remembered a sort of shelled monster. The only one I can't place is Darkwings. The only other winged monster I remember was one resembling a ptyredactil.

Regardless, great work! I look forward to continuing with it, then moving on to Saavik's tale, and finally back to Encounter Thy Image.

Author's Response:

Sam and Aurelan were Peter's legal parents--Aurelan did give birth to him, but there's another story in there. Sam was sterilized in an accident, and he and Aurelan asked Jim to sire their children, while they would raise the kids. They were not quite up to the task of parenting, as we shall see. Peter is of House Surak, albeit by way of 'Those Who Left' centuries before. 'The Plague'--frankly as dark a story as I have ever written--covers that. I'm sorry to have so many stories that *have* to be read, but I deliberately opted for thoroughness over accesibility.

Darkwing is a ref to Battra, Mothra's grim counterpart. Mothra is the guardian of the living on Earth--Battra is the guardian of the Earth's ability to produce and contain life---so their goals are sometimes at odds. Shellback is a ref to Gamera, The Giant Turtle, the guardian of young life--or children.

Thanks! I know it can be hugely daunting, but it is also appreciated.

Reviewer: KobayashiMaru13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Apr 2010 12:01 Title: Encounter Thy Image

This was very interesting, if not a bit confusing. It seems like there are some troubled times ahead. I'm not sure what led him to this point, but I'm nevertheless happy to see Kirk back in charge of the Enterprise. Could you perhaps give me some references? It sounds like this is a sequel, of sorts. So I can understand this better, could you perhaps point me in the right direction for a little background? Regardless of all that, though, Saavik's comment about having never been to Romulus made me laugh. I'll be reading more! ;)

Author's Response:

In short, this story is TMP minus the two-plus year interruption, no desk job, no crew dispersal and plenty of politics on both sides trying to force Jim's hand. Maybe parts of 'Down Through The Circles' and 'Paradise Lost' might cast some light on it.

'31 Days' was originally written as a separate drabble series, each day being told in 100 words. I thought it still worked well as a prologue, even if a bit short on details. Thanks!

Reviewer: Mistral Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 19 Jan 2010 18:32 Title: Staff Meeting At Nine

Hmm, hints as to what is wrong in this universe. Fascinating. A rebellion building under an "ordinary" facade. You have layers to you, Rob. Are you an ogre? :)

Author's Response:

Give me an animated Cameron Diaz and we'll talk! :) At this point, its not yet a rebellion so much as a coping mechanism for dealing with officers compromised by a hate-filled ideology. It could get to the revolt stage, though. Thanks!

Reviewer: SLWatson Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Jan 2010 06:28 Title: Demora Is Missing

Oh, Lord. I can feel so much for Sulu here; I remember once when my own daughter managed to slip out on us unattended (she was only eighteen months old), and I don't think I've felt fear like that since then. Very well handled.

Author's Response:

Thank You. I wanted one that was part of the ADU storyline and yet went well beyond it, and I proudly feel I hit the mark with this one.

Reviewer: SLWatson Signed [Report This]
Date: 14 Jan 2010 02:03 Title: Staff Meeting At Nine

A sweet little slice-of-life! There was one grammar error I caught: "Your presuming anything that ate brains would even want yours. C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?" -- You're would be the right usage. But it was still a neat little tale, with some very neat insights. Nicely done!

Author's Response:

As Roland The Gunslinger would say, Thankee-Sai! I will move on that error ASAP, and thanks also for pointing it up to me.

I liked this challenge, because one of the real terrors of the ADU is that it is not the MU. The MU is honest and in your face about its nature. The ADU is an isotope, not a different element altogether, and it often wears a facade of normality. Like Stephen King said about the original 'I Am Legend' novel, real fear comes not from an obviously haunted house, but from one that looks just like any other on the surface.

Reviewer: kes7 Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 13 Jan 2010 21:05 Title: Staff Meeting At Nine

I'm a little lost on the greater plotline here, since I haven't read this series yet, but I loved the interaction between the crew and you nailed their voices.  Chekov was especially funny.



Author's Response:

Is it any surprise that Chekov, Scotty, MASH's Charles Winchester, and Lost In Space's Doctor Smith are among my favorite characters to write? Also, I had practice writing Chekov as Captain of the E-B for Orion Press. As I mentioned to Miranda Fave, 'Come The High Water' as well as 'Down Through The Circles-Saavik's Tale' are good primers for knowing who's who and what's what in this AU.

Thank you both!

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Jan 2010 18:58 Title: Staff Meeting At Nine

Well I've not read much in your Destroyer universe so at a loss as to some of the things, particularly at the end, however, the whole story is a great slice of life as befits the challenge. And in the setting of your universe with so much at stake to see a staff meeting dealing with tackling some of the issues is in and of itself spectactular for the mundane of it all. Uhura delivers the news to varying degrees of enthusiasm. Hee hee. Loved the different responses everyone had - in particular Chekov's admonishment of Sulu and his plans. Hee hee.



Author's Response:

Admiralty Hall is the embodiment of the TNG/DS9 'mad admiral' syndrome. They have in this case been sponsored and run by the xenophobic Order Of The Ancient Destroyer. It has chapters on each world, each one believing only it and its species will be spared when King Ghidorah returns. They gather in centers of power--the Senate on Romulus, T'Pring's House on Vulcan, and the top echelon of Starfleet Command on Earth. The late Admiral Nogura attempted to deal with them and keep Starfleet from erupting into Civil War--but he ended up Chamberlain and Von Hindenburg, instead of Churchill and Roosevelt. After his death, Cartwright (Brock 'Joseph Sisko' Peters, from Movies IV and VI) moved into power, and placed the fleet not loyal to the Order under scrutiny, with the number one target being Kirk and his crew. Kirk's father George opposed the construction of Admiralty Hall. Kirk's legal nephew and son-by-blood in this AU, Peter, is a prophesied figure meant to stop Ghidorah and the Order, along with Saavik, who in this AU is Spock's daughter, though he has supressed the memory of her violent and unwilling conception when he was a Romulan captive. To further their goals, the Hall has officers on board 'disloyal' ships who report directly to them. Sarek is undertaking at this time to rescue Peter Kirk from his captivity in the depths of Admiralty Hall--the 'inquiry' Spock was unknowingly reffing.

 

Apart from all that, I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you ever do have a yen to get into the ADU, I'll suggest starting with 'Come The High Water', which tells the story of S31 Agent Colonel West (Rene Auberjonois) and the choices this AU forces him to make. It intros and explains the position of all the major players, and many of the major events.

Reviewer: Mistral Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Oct 2009 16:55 Title: The Window

That was chilling. The build up was well paced and the over all effect-goosebumps. Good job.

Author's Response: The Admiralty in the ADU is of course a take on the script-driven 'mad Admiral' syndrome seen on TNG and DS9, amped up with a bit of X-Files, Lovecraft, and good old anime/manga stylistic cruelty. I write by definition so many stories about how the Order hurts Peter Kirk and Saavik, but those are two kids. Showing the way it affects serving officers really brings it home, and I'm gratified to know it works.

No results found.
You must login (register) to review.