Date: 12 Apr 2011 16:00 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season two
Yipes. What a return! Lots of ominous developments and at each turn I must say I am not sure where you are going to go. I gotta give huge kudos for the scene with Ensign Kira and the strange prophet visions. For something often seen in fanfics and in canon it can be hard to create an atmosphere, a forboding tension surrounding them. However, you did so with Kira's vision. It was quite compelling and of course very ominious.
Date: 24 Jun 2010 15:58 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season two
Nice ending. A big build up and good delivery of the expectations.
Author's Response: Thankyee! The last segment was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but I think the mini-cliffhanger works better than trying to cram everything into the next teaser. Onwards!
Date: 24 Jun 2010 15:46 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season two
Ho ho. A twist on the holodeck malfunction epsiodes. Nice build up to the actual problem occuring. I also like the way the series is layering in little nods to an overall arc that doesn't take away form the immediate epsiode.
Author's Response: Yes, my very own holodeck episode. I didn't think of it as such until someone said exactly what you did on Omega... and you're both absolutely right. :P Though the series never totally destroyed the holodeck... hmm. Glad the little hints/foreshadowing is going down well. :)
Date: 24 Jun 2010 15:35 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season two
Tom cleared his throat. “My first,” he said after a moment, his voice low. “Let’s hope it’s also the last.” He turned his eyes skyward, where blue dome of the city’s shield still rippled and pulsed. He, along with expedition leaders Will Gates and Nathan Carson, had elected to keep the shield up for a few more days, or until they were certain there was no immediate threat from the Borg.
Somehow I doubt they will be the last of the deaths we will see. However, the arrival of support seems to point to a brighter more positive future - assistance that comes with high technology from Voyager to boot. However, that in itself might be a problem as it seems to have made some among Admiralty arrogant and of the opinion that they can best the Borg easily - enough to actively seek a war with the Borg. A deadly and frightening prospect.
And if that's not enough, there is something going on in the planet - changes of some kind and it seems to be connected to some larger danger - one in which the prophets are willing to show themselves. Hmm ... an intriguing and puzzling development.
Author's Response: We'll see...! But yes, two powerful starships is a welcome sight any day, in my book. And as for the Voyager's technology, well... as you say, it's not a good idea to actively engage the Borg.Ah, and I'm glad you spotted that! I think it was a little too subtle when I posted it at Omega, as no one noticed it till I pointed it out. Hehe... watch this space. ;)
Date: 02 May 2010 13:02 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season two
What a bumper of a chapter to kick the new season off. An all out confrontation with the Borg with lots of twists and turns to the tale before it reached its end. Good stuff. T'Sora's mind meld in particular grabbed my attention. I love this Vulcan. Kira came up with a great little plan there and it worked out well. Nice twist to end the resolution.
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad this still entertains into its second "year"... hope you'll stay tuned!
Date: 14 Jan 2010 07:20 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Huge big rollicking episode of acting. From the countdown to get the shields up and going, to launching fighters to fend off the Borg fighters, the relentless pummeling of the shield, the onslaught of Borg and now a new entry into the fray as the Adelphi dies. I'm hoping they might be a friend somehow. I'm goint to think good things - at least other Borg not willing to share the prize of the city and fight the other Borg for it. The enemy of my enmey is my friend? Well at least another gun. A great big finish. A big wow factor to end things. Well done.
Date: 14 Jan 2010 07:11 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Cliffhanger moment into the big finale. Again, the continued preparations not easy to do and coming down to the wire might be classic but it's classic and not cliche so no foul. Great stuff and a big finish to come.
Date: 14 Jan 2010 07:03 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Love the build up to the finale. The preparations and frantic workrate to get the city defences up and the ships ready to fight. It is cutting things fine, especially when not all the plans go as smoothly as others.
Date: 14 Jan 2010 06:40 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
What a scary discovery. One wonders why the drones were there and I'd love an answer to that. Alas like so many mysteries here the answers might have been lost to time. The sudden reactivation was a scary thing too and the tactic used to kill them quite novel by my mileage. Terrific.
Date: 12 Jan 2010 15:40 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Whoa. A powerful episode this one. Very strong in the ominous factor. The developments with the Borg are fascinating and a great interpreatation of canon events after Endgame. The thought of Borg packs out scavenging and pillaging almost like Vikings is terrifying as they power play amongst themselves and swallow up lives and civilisations in the process.
This collective the crew meets is stranger still and frightening in their own respects. Especially given the feeling that there will be more to their story and that they will play a part in things down the line. Will they return as an enemy? Is their gift a Trojan horse? Oh the drama of it all.
Eryn himself seems a strange fish really. I don't know what to make of him. Obviously he finds himself abandoned with the Starfleet crews but not particularly seeing things in thier terms. It adds further tensions and debate to things. And it is not as if they all get along as it is, with many varied opinions and thoughts as to what the next step should be.
All that remains to be said however is: THEY ARE COMING! Eek!
Date: 06 Jan 2010 05:35 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
So their first, first contact hasn't gone down too well. They have made an ally, but only the one. That is a pity. However, they may find that Eyrn is going to be a useful ally and instrumental in helping them. Also, intriguing is the mention of the Borg as a legend. So they are known - but not believed to be true. That is unfortunate. Nice developments going on.
Date: 06 Jan 2010 05:11 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Oh turn up for the books! The alert turned out to be a Starfleet vessel. But an Ambassador class. One wonders about the priorities of Starfleet. Always a mystery it seems the actions of Admiralty. Then add in complications of the heart and then complications as an enemy does appear. But a mystery enemy with the same technology. Quite a mystery you create. Little hints and troubling bits that are allowed to simmer for a bit. Very good.
Author's Response: Indeed! The main reason it's there is because I love that class ship to death, but I suppose it could have been diverted from another mission or something? Anyway, things are starting to come together. ;)
Date: 30 Dec 2009 10:57 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Another episode packed with lots of zingers and funny lines. Just some examples:
“I’ve yet to set foot in a building that’s heard of the lift...”
“Indeed, I have made a somewhat... disturbing discovery.” - Another one, Will thought to himself. Here we go..
Of course the truth of the situation is that with each new and amaing discovery they make, the team appear to have another problem to handle. And it seems such is the case here with the crew facing a hostile ship looming towards them. Yes they now have the Olympus but Nathan's line at the end, perfectly sums things up and was a terrifically ominious way toend things. One of those subtle but killer cliffhanger moments. That is nicely crafted and good story telling and pacing.
Another credit must go for the will they/won't they relationship. You've built it up between Nathan and Will but not hammered it home but rather in an almost rom/com way made their connection obvious. And of course, in rom/com fashion everytime it seems something might happen between the two you pull the rug out from under them and have some sort of interruption.
Also, I love the whole sequence of the ship taking off. It was very nicely conveyed and related to the audience. It added to the fact that the discovery and mystery of the ship was really well done. Adds another dimension as to waht is going on - why were so many ships left behind? What is their purpose? And who is this new threat? The Borg returned? Terrific stuff.
Author's Response: I think it's very much the "too good to be true" stage at this point. Yes, they have a city and a warship both with very powerful technology, but on the reverse they only have a very basic understanding of its operation and people out there who would do anything to get their hands on it... Thanks for the review, hope you enjoy what's coming next. :)
Date: 29 Dec 2009 16:13 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Dear CentralPlexus, or Genesis Device, [I'd decry how either way your monkier is very long but I'd be one to talk ;) ]
I am sorry to tell you that you missed a golden opportunity. As in, this little exchange here:
“It’s a weapon. What did you think?”
Nathan raised an eyebrow. “I had several thoughts,” he said dismissively, “but it’s obviously not the new waste extraction system I had in mind.” Rhiohr giggled.
“Ha, ha,” said Will scathingly, conceding defeat this time.
Rather than conceding defeat, I expected Will to retort 'No shit!' hee hee. I guess I'm getting caught up in all of this. So that's no bad thing.
As to the epsiode itself, more mysteries and discoveries abound. I like that you continue to keep up the new discoveries and worries about this treasure trove. It only stand sto reason that there should be plenty more, rather than settling the status quo of things too much too soon. Rhior's noobness is charming especially as he also seems to be a very capable and resourceful person too. T'Sora continues to appear to be a rather stuck up Vulcan, almost condescending in her tone and aloof Vulcan logic responses. And I love her for it!
The station destruction seemed a little sudden for me, and I wondered at the purpose. I suppose it is actually a smart plot move to not have too much technology intact and available to the crew and story. Also, I wonder about the convienence of the timing and targeting of the asteroid. But that's just my own paranoia, especially with so many mysteries abounding. Continued mystery and suspense galore! Yay.
Author's Response: "Plexus" or "Genesis" (or "Device") is fine. ;) Hehe, damn. There must be something wrong with me, I would have thought of that ordinarily... I see where you're coming from, but the whole collision thing was (I think, it was ages ago now) just for lack of a better way to wrap up the episode quickly. But it retrospect, maybe it was the better thing to do. Thanks!
Date: 27 Dec 2009 11:36 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Hi Centralplexus, just finished reading through what you've written, what a fantastic story and little universe you've created!
The summary drew me in immediately when I was browsing through the archive earlier on (perhaps you can give me some advice on writing a summary to draw people in mine is awful!) and absolutely devoured what you've written, thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to reading more from you!
Author's Response: Hello! Thanks very much! I'm playing catch-up with posting this thing and there's a long way to go yet, but I'm happy you like it so far. :) And the summary for your "Discovery" story certainly makes me want to read more! I think I will do now. Thanks again!
Date: 04 Dec 2009 13:37 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Woah! Cliffhanger moment or what! So a Borgified Nemo is on the loose and may give away some secrets of the city. Dear oh dear. Things just get better and better for these people.
Author's Response: Don't they just? Glad you're till tagging along!
Date: 04 Dec 2009 13:28 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
So the discoveries they make about the planet and its technology are deadly at times. Very stark reading and the last line was particularly cold - that shooting star is one of our dead let's have dessert! But they really have had a tough run on this mission. So the costs are bound to tally in their minds.
Author's Response: Indeed. ;) Kind of a dark episode I guess, not sure if I downplayed the consequences a little too much in retrospect. But, black humour isn't unwelcome in certain situations...
Date: 25 Nov 2009 16:43 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Woah! That was quite a chapter. The revelation of Borg Hub/Hive centre and the appearance of the Queen would have been enought bu then we have an audacious rescue and the sacrifice of the captain to boot. Crikey.
I'd have loved more reflection at the end from Nathan and Will, slow down the transition from the rescue to the aftermath. Just a little point on my own part - but then again, I myself tend to be too long winded hee hee. And one reason why I'd love you to do it, is because you can really a nail an scene and a character. Your description of the Borg Queen entrance and her demeanour is pure dynamite - awesome description and very vivid emotions emoted to her presence. And to top it all her interaction with the others is top notch too. Her cat fight with Teanga alluding to her ancient past and begs for more answers and creates so many questions too. But the way she tried to ellicit answers from Gates was so reminescent of her attempt to win Data over in Frst Contact. You made the Borg Queen seem scary when all too often fanfic writers fail to convey her cold bitchy heart and sensual, sexual seduction she tries to attempt. Spot on. Chillingly so.
Author's Response: I've never been too good at wrapping things up when there's been a lot of action before, so I can understand where you're coming from. But I found that all that needed to be said was said, and any more would probably have spoiled it (it's been known to happen). As for the Queen, I loved writing her! I was trying to replicate the Queen we saw in ST:FC who, as you say, was sexy as well as scary. I especially enjoyed her "flirtation" with Temaga and how the captain sees her as the vile creature she really is. Thanks! This episode was a lot of fun. :D
Date: 22 Nov 2009 14:38 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
How dumb am I? Hive ship could equal BORG! Eek! Well that was a last minute curve ball in the chapter. But I've a feeling you have this all planned out in some forma or another. You've a realisation of this planet and city clearly from the way you write about it and describe certain features. Especially when you talked about the scenes of the planet captivating the crew. So this should be a very rich and detailed story and truly world building. However, you aren't letting the story stagnate but are getting straight into some of the drama, thrills and spills we the reader should come to expect I dare say. You also very quickly relate the kind of characters and character interaction we can expect. You did so very quickly and so effectively. So very well done. You convey a lot through very little.
Author's Response: I have a somewhat large file on my laptop with close to a hundred episode plans, so you could say that. ;) Description of the ships and city was helped enormously by concept art and physical models I made beforehand (yes, I'm a nutter!) and helped me envision the setting a lot more than my previous works. I'm glad it works for the reader too. :) Again, thanks for the kind words!
Date: 22 Nov 2009 13:48 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
This is a really intriguing start. Of course the references to Hive ships and the Ancients links this in my head to Stargate: Atlantis. So I wonder is that where you are going with this. If so, then I look forward to it and how you link it to Star Trek. And how do the two fuse together. It will be very interesting to see. That said, I could be totally off base in that thinking. But still, the setting in the Beta Quadrant is novel itself and will lend a whole other world setting to this to mark it as very different to other series. This enemy will be very different and Starfleet won't be in its comfort zone. Plus I figure this will be a more planet based fanfic and it should be more than interesting for that reason. I've often wanted to do a Federation colony fanfic so this premise really hooks me. Looking forward to following the saga.
Author's Response: Thank you! This story was indeed inspired by Stargate Atlantis, but has taken quite a different direction since I started work on it. The Beta Quadrant was the obvious choice for the setting, given it practically doesn't exist in the canon universe. ;) Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the rest of it!
Date: 16 Aug 2009 23:11 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
You packed an enormous amount into this section, but it was a pleasure to read it.
Fortunately, Temaga's got a clever and enterprising crew who prove that even stuck planetside, they can still contribute enormously. Mounting a rescue expedition was reckless, no doubt, and would it have killed them to notify Starfleet of what was happening? Regardless, the mission was ballsy, and hey... you can't argue with success, right?
I've got to admit, you threw me with Temaga's assimilation. Being as this is a new series with new characters, I made the unwarranted assumption that somehow the captain would be/could be rescued in the nick of time, most especially considering her apparent longevity and previous interactions with the Borg. Her final sacrifice was appropriate and touching, despite how briefly the reader knew her.
It will be very interesting to see how the partially Starfleet/partially civilian leadership of this expedition turns out now.
Though there are definite strains of Stargate Atlantis to this story, insofar as they're far from immediate help in an ancient city, you've populated this story with fully 3-dimensional characters who carry the day.
I'm looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words, Gibraltar! With only civilians and non-commissioned officers in the city, plus the fact that contact with Starfleet is weeks out of real-time, it was an "act now, ask permission later" situation. But, like you said, it worked... :) I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have Temaga sacrifice herself; though she's an interesting character, part of that character is her willingness to do anything to defend her people, whether they be ancient or current, and such an action is one of the best ways of highlighting that, I think. Several elements of this story were inspired by/based on early episodes of Stargate Atlantis, yes - but I'm glad you think it's its own work and not just simple plagiarism! And yes, the leadship issue is an interesting one... more coming up. :)
Date: 12 Aug 2009 18:55 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
So... many... questions!
Temaga first. How's this woman still around after so many millenia? Time travel? Is she an android? Racial memory? Or is her species just ridiculously long lived? The fact that she's come to command this mission to her long-dead homeworld obviously cannot be coincidence, so she must have performed some deft maneuvering to put herself in the right place at precisely the right time.
I like the crew you've assembled. They bicker like people who have been working a project together for awhile. The opening scene with Dr. Carson and Lt. Gates was pretty damn funny.
And now, the mystery you've established only deepens. What the heck happened to the Beltane, and where did Temaga end up?
An excellent first chapter. I'm looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Temaga's arrival (or continuation) in the twenty fourth century is, honestly, something I've not given much consideration myself - writing her in at the end of the first section was actually an accident! But by that time I'd thought what a plot device she could be, so I built the story up around her a bit more. The crew is an interesting one - I wanted to see what would happen when civilian and military were shoved into a small ship on a long mission together. Needless to say tension runs high sometimes! Much appreciated - hope you stay tuned. :)
Date: 12 Aug 2009 13:38 Title: Star Trek: Abandoned - season one
Wow, heck of an opener! You've packed quite a bit of drama and mystery into a brief prologue, and piqued my interest in the process. Welcome to Ad Astra!
Author's Response: Thanks for the welcome! As Terilynn said it is kind of creepy, but necessarily so I think. I'm glad you're finding it interesting!