Date: 06 May 2013 02:58 Title: The Unreturned Prodigal
Wow! Maxwell totally nailed it! I would even go further and say Leone is a spoiled little Princess who managed to advance her way more through connections than talent. I'm glad you exposed Leone's flaws like this!
Date: 27 Apr 2013 17:24 Title: Damn the Torpedoes!
Nice, but ack - way to leave us hanging at the end! ;-)
You really ramped up the tension for those last two chapters. Can't wait to see what happens next - where they are and can they manage with the sleketon crew that was on board for the warp trials.
Excellent, Mike. It's no secret that I'm usually a TOS girl, but this really sucked me in hook, line and sinker. :D
Date: 27 Apr 2013 14:31 Title: Damn the Torpedoes!
Nice chapter that gave a good look and feel to the captain's quarters, as well as the bridge and ready room. It was nice to see the easy friendship between Leone and Elannis, but given their rapport, I'm a bit confounded as to why Krys didn't choose Ariel as her XO. I'm sure all will be revealed in time...;-)
Despite the relaxed feel to this chapter, you were able to maintain that feeling of quiet dread that something is amiss, even if the crew doesn't realize it yet. With repairs being made to the command chair, and the view out the port of shuttles humming back and forth like a swarm of insects, I kept wanting *someone* to discover what those two from the previous chapter were up to in the deflector array room.
Date: 27 Apr 2013 14:03 Title: Damn the Torpedoes!
I liked this chapter a lot. The old friendship between Leone and Nieles feels genuine, as does the shift in the relationship as her career has taken a higher road than his.
The exchange between Leone and Tennyson seemed very formal. I can only hope a true camaraderie develops between the CO and XO - it'll make for a smoother transition for them as a command team, and help them present a united front to the crew.
Also, the banter between Belkis and Saleb was enjoyable as well - one very uptight, high-strung, the other seeking to enjoy their little escapade (although I'm sure it won't prove to be fun for the Farragut's crew) as much as the situation allows. That they're 'bad guys' is obvious, but you still imbue them with personality and character - they aren't just two-dimensional, cookie-cutter antagonists. But *who* are they, and *why* are they doing what they're doing?
Date: 27 Apr 2013 13:37 Title: Damn the Torpedoes!
Interesting start. Just what are those two up to (well, what they're up to is obvious, but why?) and why didn't the crewman think something was amiss when he stumbled across them? Obviously they can pass for crew, or at least Fleet members. Okay, so far I'm hooked...
Date: 25 Apr 2013 20:31 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
Love this story. Kircheis and the Gallant were awesome, Teelis was a wonderful character, loved the conflict of character and moral with Kelley (though I'm a little disappointed she was "rewarded" in the end...I didn't feel like there was much resolution with her bigotry and more could/should have been done to correct her). I'm looking forward to Task Force Vanguard!
Date: 27 Jan 2013 22:08 Title: The Chains of Error
wow. Just wow. That was an incredible story guys. Very well done, very engrossing, very depressing to the point of feeling sick...just wow. My heart was wrenching for Pava there at the end...I can see what you guys were talking about in that chat a few months ago.
I'm excited to get into reading the Vanguard stories now, and the FSA series. Amazing work guys...I wish I was half the writer y'all are.
Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm pleased you enjoyed the story so much.
And yes, Pava is a bit of an attention whore, even when he doesn't want to be. ;-)
Date: 02 Dec 2012 21:10 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
Wow, that’s some coda! A fantastic revelation at the end of what was a magnificent story. I very much enjoyed the in-depth look into Rihannsu culture, as well as into the inner workings of the characters.
The character interplay was nothing short of phenomenal, with clashing personalities, viewpoints, prejudices, and all the other baggage that comes with all manner of squishy, imperfect biologicals.
I appreciated the opportunity Kircheis gave Kelley, despite the XO’s having stepped well over the line of acceptable behavior. The captain turned it into a teaching moment, one that will make Kelley a better person, and ultimately, a better commanding officer for her own crew.
A damn fine job by the both of you. I can’t wait to read the next story of Gallant’s adventures!
Date: 02 Dec 2012 19:13 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
A heart-rending scene as Leone falls apart publically in the depth of her grief. It was so well written, I felt myself misting up, too.
What would, under different circumstances, have been a wonderful reunion between old comrades is in instead a mournful occasion.
Date: 02 Dec 2012 17:29 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
Woah, tense talk between Kircheis and Kelley. And it looks like the XO has a pretty good reason to mistrust the Romulans. Too bad she appears unwilling to consider exceptions to this rule. I don't think neither of them handled this situation very well which could lead to problems down the line.
Meant to ask, is the Border Patrol the same as the Border Service or a different agency within Starfleet?
Date: 02 Dec 2012 17:09 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
What's bothering Kelley, I wonder? Does she really not like Romulans or is there something more.
I like her explanation for her underwhelming response to being offered a command. Serving on small ships like Gallant, it's almost as if you're in a whole different fleet, I'd imagine and certainly not what new recruits are shown in the propaganda material.
Date: 02 Sep 2012 03:06 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
This new clocking device sounds interesting but I'm sure I've come across the holographic concept before somewhere. May not have been in Trek canon, I don't remember.
Leone comes across as very cold and abrupt here. I'm not sure if that is her normal admiral command mode or if perhaps she is overcompensating for her emotional outbreak earlier.
I like the addition of Schweinfurt to the crew. His nickname and his unreciprocated romantic feelings towards Tei add some of your trademark comedic elements to this otherwise quite serious tale.
Date: 01 Sep 2012 08:23 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
The other question to ask is; was Pava ever alright to begin with? Oh well, that's a question for somebody else to solve.
A sad but poignant memorial service. As expected the death of Ariel is hitting Leone especially hard. For all her toughness and professionalism, this is not something she can handle easily.
I like the dynamic between Kircheis and her XO, by the way. She may not be particularly street smart but her loyalty is impressive.
Date: 26 Aug 2012 09:01 Title: To Triumph and Not To Mourn
Not heavy on details, the prologue never the less firmly establishes a great conflict as our presumed protagonist must choose between loyalty to family or state. The decision is going to have far-reaching implications I'm sure and I can't wait finding out what familiar faces will make an appearance in this tale.
Date: 20 Jun 2012 19:55 Title: Eternal Midnight
What a sad way to end the story. RIP Tommy or not?
I feel sorry for Hargreaves because she is right, Leone's family did pull some strings and that boils down to corruption. Almost as if Leone is above the law regarding some things. These are interesting concepts and good food for thought. The sort of stuff that makes these stories rather interesting.
Date: 20 Jun 2012 19:40 Title: Eternal Midnight
Isira should have replaced Troi on the Enterprise, this is how awesome she is! You're definitely upping the ante with the rest of the characters, so instead of the two-man (sorry woman) show of Ariel and Leone. We have some interesting characters like Kincaid and his anger problems, and the utterly forthright and calculating Isira.
Date: 20 Jun 2012 19:33 Title: Eternal Midnight
Nice little twist with Kincaid, actually made me more interested in this character. Plus Isira has some balls as a counsellor. I was wondering, is Isira lean and trim or is she overweight? Something beforehand in one of the chapters saying she was out of shape...
Date: 19 Jun 2012 08:53 Title: Milk Run
Mister for Ariel? Mister is a title for a man! Unless it's some quirk of Starfleet command structure which I'm missing...
So far Hargreaves doesn't seem much of a threat, I mean surely Starfleet Commands knows she has a personal history with Leone and so she can be far from objective or impartial? Unless of course certain admirals have a grudge against Leone and her family, so what better way of slinging some mud on the Leone family? Intriguing stuff when you stop to really think about it.
Date: 19 Jun 2012 08:26 Title: Milk Run
Poor Jesse... I would say Jesse is a bit Jellico-like, but then he's right by saying things are too informal amongst the senior officers. Plus Ariel uncorks her pheromones, which is always cool.
It was also nice seeing Wilson put down that Hargreaves hag as well...